Alaska- Day 4

Skagway was awesome. It was so awesome I was half serious when I told Jim we should move there for a summer. This entry could be 8 paragraphs long and I’d feel I wasn’t doing the town justice in description.

Why is it so cool? First off the town is still mostly in it’s original format (that is original building structure and fronts) that it had when it was established at the time of the gold rush. Second, there are about 800 full time residents and 3000 summer residents who support local tourism from May – September. Third, it gets to be about 40 below in the winter – so cold that people hardly ever leave their houses in the winter!

For reference, Skagway is at the top most spot of an inlet in Alaska; the closest point to the inside of the state which made it ideal for all the people who wanted to participate in the gold rush- all the closer to the jackpot! So, tens of thousands of men, women and families came to Skagway to settle and unload the gold that they had found back on the docks to be sent to Seattle.

When we arrived in town the Sacks, Sturgises, Ting and Jim and I all went on a brothel tour. A summer resident conducting the tour picked us up in her “madame” clothes and for 2 hours she showed us the back alleys, brothel houses and dance halls that the 300 local ladies used to service the 15,000 klondike hopefuls that flooded the town. She told us really interesting stories about the hierarchies of prostitution (alley girls being the lowest, cottage girls next, brothel dwellers next and finally the dance hall girls; above all of these levels were the French girls who commanded 5X the highest going rate for an American woman) and why so many woman chose the profession in lieu of other jobs. She gave some bios of the notable women and told of the hardships that the Asian children faced specifically. I found it really fascinating. At the end of the tour we had a champagne toast in the Brothel Museum above the Red Onion Saloon.

From there Dale, Jim, my parents and I headed on a train ride through the inside of Alaska and actually crossed over into Canada. This was a neat train because it was only 1 of 2 chances we had to see the interior of the state and because we saw some really high waterfalls and the actual path that people used to get to the Klondike. The stories the tour guide told were interesting too – the path, which was only about 2 feet wide, carried well over 100,000 people, many of which crossed back and forth as many as 40X in order to get their 2 tons of supplies required by the Canadian government. Over 3000 pack animals died by being pushed off the path into the ravine below. Really really cool history.

By this time (4:00pm) most folks were tired, but Dad and I went and watched a video in the visitors center about the Klondike and the ridiculous lengths these people went to strike it rich.

Ok, so you got 6 paragraphs. If you want to hear more I’ll be happy to expand!

Up Next: Sitka!

Big News!

Please excuse the interruption of the Alaskan Vacation Recap for an important announcement....

I have been offered, and as of today have formally accepted, an adjunct teaching position at Xavier University!

Please excuse my not prompting you that this was going on, but I didn't want to announce anything until it was all finalized. This is a great opportunity that was pretty much handed to me by a former professor who is moving out of state and recommended me to the Chair of the Marketing Department to replace her. Piece by piece it came together and with the blessing of my company I'll be teaching Business to Business Marketing on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10-11:15am from August 24 through the first week of December. I also have the choice to pick up more classes in the Spring semester if I'd like.

I'm so excited and can't wait to start putting the class together! Thanks to everyone for your love and support as I start this new adventure!

Alaska- Day 3

Our third day of the cruise was our first port of call – Juneau! Juneau was an interesting town for several reasons:
1) it really consists of one primary long street that runs through town and has some bars, shops, and the tramway
2) the fact that it’s the capital of the state is really odd because it’s a) so small and b) only accessible by air or sea – there are no roads going into it!
3) These tiny little houses in town are a minimum of $250K. What do people do that earns them enough to afford this?

Several people in our group had excursions in town (the Wolf’s went rafting, the Sacks went on a gold mine tour, Mom and Greg went up the tram, Mary Ann did the trolley) so Dad, Dale, Jim and I set out on our own to make a good time. We decided on a 1.5 hour gold panning tour which didn’t allow us to do anything else but shop the strip before we had to go. I did pick up our Christmas ornament and got my free sapphire at one of the partner jewelry stores (how much am I going to spend to set this free diamond in a necklace is another question…).

Panning for gold consisted of a 20 minute trip up the mountain to the riverbed over a road that at some points had 30 degree inclines. We got a casual talking tour of the area as we drove by the bus driver who lives there year round. Maybe because he got more gold flakes than anyone else, but Jim liked panning quite a bit. We had a pan full of sand that we used to sift through the water and debris. The gold we found was about the size of a flea but there were about 2 dozen of them in my pan when I was done. It was quite tedious using an eye dropper to suck them out of the pan and put them in my plastic vile to take home. We got quite a laugh when we found bottles of really large flakes of gold (think a little larger than the eraser of a pencil) selling for $4.99 in the gift shops! Using that to compare I’d say I have about four cents worth of gold that I can claim to have found.

I think it was around this time that Dale met Allison and her family. I don’t know where she came from other than she was a woman our age and therefore was being sought out by Dale, Bryan, Greg, etc. in general. There was also another family that the group rode the bus with to the ship that kept popping up everywhere we went. They were from Texas and thought our group was a trip. By the end of the week Dad had mapped out their family tree and how the 12 of them were related. These two families popped up continuously throughout and we spent quite a bit of time with them at shows, excursions, and some meals.

Up Next – Skagway!

Alaska Day 2!

Our trip consisted of 4 ports and two days of sailing. Sunday was one of our sailing days where we spent the entire day on-board. As you can imagine, Royal Caribbean set up lots of activities to keep the passengers occupied and so began the Templin/Eutsler et al. week of winning.

As most of you know (or assume through knowing me) the Templin clan is viciously competitive. Dale kicked things off by winning the ping-pong tournament, beating Jim, Greg, Steve, Dave and Jonathan. The person that Dale played to win (also the guy who knocked Jim out of the tournament) was there forward known as “Ping Pong Dave” whenever we saw him the rest of the week. This victory netted Dale 5 Ship Shape Dollars (on-board money).

For you Midwesterners they did have several cornhole tournaments on board. While our group did not do so well in the first one, Jim did pull out a win for the home team on Friday. Bryan got 2nd place in the ring toss tournament and I think Greg got second in the billiards tournament. A bunch of us played Bingo in the late morning and while I was 1 away 2 times I never got to call Bingo or win the $200+ prizes.

On Sunday night the main production show had some guy from Shanana (?) that my parents knew but none of us “youngsters” knew. Of all people Dad (Steve) got picked to participate in the hula-hoop competition on stage in front of about 400 people which was hilarious for us to watch. Dale recorded the event which I will post once I get it.

Up Next: Juneau!

Alaska - Day 1

I’m baaaaccckkk!

The trip was fantastic with many highlights. As not to have a ridiculous blog detailing the whole trip, I’ll do separate entries and keep it light!

Day 1- Traveling to Vancouver
The ship was to leave from Vancouver and sail north through Alaska to our final stop, Seward. I picked Jim up from work around 4:30 and we went to the airport to head to Seattle where we had a 14 hour lay-over. For the umpteenth time I over-packed our suitcases and had to do the annoying task of switching items back and forth between suitcases in order to avoid the $25 fee for having luggage weighing more than 50lbs.

We flew out after a 1 hour delay and spent the night in a horrible h(m)otel that was so bad it didn’t even have an alarm clock. This prompted J and my agreement that we will no longer stay at low-budget places and will always go the Marriott or equivalent route even for the briefest stays. Even I'll agree that my efforts to save money went way overboard in this case.

We left at 9:30am and arrived in Vancouver around 10:30am. We boarded the Radiance of the Seas around 12:30. The boat was 13 decks and had an indoor and an outdoor pool, rock climbing wall, restaurants, a dozen bars, a dance club, casino, movie theatre and a large auditorium. Our group met us around 4:30 and we sailed around 5:30.

On the trip were the following folks:
Dave – friend of Jim’s from P&G/softball
Rachel- Dave’s fiancée and kindergarten teacher
My parents and brothers
Lindsay- my brother Mike’s girlfriend
My Uncle Tom, Aunt Mary & cousins Bryan and Jonathan
Chuck- friend of Karen’s
Kristi- Chuck’s wife
Dale- one of Jim’s groomsmen (P&G friend)
Jim & I

We had dinner together and had a funny and talkative waiter, Juan from Chile, taking care of us. I don’t remember what we did besides hang out that night and detox from a long day of traveling but I’m sure we had fun doing it. :)

Our cabin was on the inside of the ship so we didn’t have a window (like Chuck/Kristi) or a balcony (like Dave/Rachel). Made sleeping very easy in the pitch black. The room was about 10X12 and had a king-sized bed, desk couch and a little bathroom at the front of the room. Strangely, there was, in my opinion, lots of storage area to unpack and keep stuff. My immediate family, Dale, Chuck and Kristi all stayed on the 3rd floor which was very convenient because the dining room was only 1 flight upstairs and the main lounge we hung out in as well as the theatre/casino were all on the 6th floor – not a big deal to walk downstairs from. Buffet dining was on floor 11, as was the pool. I'll tell you more about the ship as I go through our days!

Up next- sailing the coast of Canada!

I'm Outta Here

I will be leaving the house in 55 minutes to go pick up Jim. From there we're headed to the airport to fly to Seattle. After spending the night and a quick jog to Vancouver in the morning, we'll be on our way to ALASKA!!!!

It appears that we will not have internet access so I probably won't be able to blog while I'm gone. Don't be sad- annoy those in town to entertain you. ; )

Have a great week! See you on 7/30!

Bon Voyage!

Book Report, Chapter 10

The lesson in this chapter is simply that arguing is pointless. According to Carnegie “Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.”

I think that this concept is most easily seen concerning the abortion debate (whether it’s “right” or “wrong”). This is, from my experience, the subject people have a firm opinion on and to argue over disagreeing opinions is a complete waste of time as any given individual is not going to change their stand.

This idea works on other things too- like when my husband insists on something and I respond “you’re right dear” in “that” tone. Wives everywhere know what I mean.

Anyway, Carnegie’s logic for not arguing in daily personal or professional life is as follows:

You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. (p. 117)

There are also a large number of ways to avoid arguments that I thought were useful. I don’t want to bore you with the list because of length, but check out the BONUS! note below for more info.

In summary: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.


BONUS! I went to http://www.dalecarnegie.com/ and saw a link for a free download of Carnegie’s tips. I’m not sure if this is a summary like what I’ve been providing you or if it’s a full electronic version of this book. Regardless, check it out- it’s FREE!

Shopping Fanatic

I’m not sure if this is just a thing women can do, but as I prepared to get dressed for the day I realized that I could tell you where I bought every piece of clothing I own. Much of it comes from the outlet malls, TJ Maxx, and Lerner NY. But even without looking at the label I know where every item came from and approximately how old it is.

On the same subject, sometimes I feel awkward shopping at the store where I bought the clothes I’m wearing. Especially if it’s an item still out on the showroom floor. Is that weird?

Nighttime Predictions

I had a dream last night that my office (which wasn’t laid out in the same floorplan as my current office, but I knew it was my office nonetheless) and that of all my co-workers weren’t really professional spaces but bedrooms that we got to paint and decorate myself. I had one of the largest spaces and mine was green and tan with a pretty white comforter on the queen-sized bed. Others’ spaces weren’t as pretty as mine but were done in their own style and suited them accordingly.

I knew that we were going to move soon and that our new space wasn’t going to be bedroom format but more traditional with desks and credenzas and the like. While I was excited about the move, I kept staring in the doorway to my current office and knew I was going to miss it.

The dream flashed ahead for just a 30 second clip of our new offices with windows and modern furniture. My boss, who I was waiting to see, was slammed with 4 people in his office and the phone ringing. I smiled at how successful we are, but I longed for the comfortable nature of our old building.

I’m going to self-analyze this dream and assume that my sub-conscious was telling me that I’m very comfortable at my current job. Things are going right and I feel at home being here. Even in my dream though I recognize that time is moving on and that I’m going to move with it. The changes that were made didn’t make me unhappy, just less happy than I was (at least for that time being). I know that there are things in the future that will change status quo and that it won’t be the same in the new office as it is here; then again, my current status as an employee, sales person, person, etc. won’t stay the same (in general) either. The next few weeks will be very interesting….

Final Thoughts from AZ

I’m in the airport now waiting for my flight to Salt Lake City where I then transfer to another flight back to Cincinnati. A few notes about the end of the trip:

1) I got woken up at 7:30am from my office because a client was out of service. While that’s okay, what was very irritating was the comment the client made about how they wouldn’t be down if I was in town. Now what in the heck does my location have to do with their service quality?! I know that this person just needed something to blame, but geez… a little logic?
2) YES, I did go back to Signature Grill for breakfast but I had an omelet instead of the salmon at the buffet. I found out that I’m judgmental about portions and that judgment is unfounded. When I saw the omelet I was served I thought “$14 for this?” but in fact it, in combination with the hash browns and bagel, was plenty for breakfast. I made the same error the first night when I saw the piece of cheesecake I got for $8 but it turned out that it was a hefty portion and more than satiated my appetite.
3) My fear that all the action happened on the first day of the trip was right – my booth and that of those around me was empty. I think I only had 2 meaningful conversations in the 3 hours I was there. Bummer.
4) Even after 5 years in sales and 26 years of being an extrovert I still find it difficult to randomly walk up to someone and strike up conversation with a stranger. I have no problem at all doing so when I’m sitting next to them at dinner. I think my psyche says that I’m with this person for the next 3 hours so I might as well be friendly.
5) I REALLY like mashed potatoes.
6) Doesn’t matter how tired I am I have to go watch when I hear fireworks. There was a great 15 minute presentation at the end of the evening at the hotel and even though I had to get up for a 4:00am flight I couldn’t shut the blinds and go back to bed until they were done.

Convention in AZ Status

Day 2 in AZ… still bored. I ate dinner last night in a restaurant in the hotel called Signature Grill. I ate out on the patio and had freshly made guacamole, a iceburg lettuce wedge salad and cheesecake. These three items’ total cost was less than over half of individual entrée’s price. this was the 3rd most expensive gig here - Primo and Cheyene are still pricier. Geez.

Being stuck here, as I mentioned, I’m limited on places to eat. This morning I wanted to go someplace else but found myself back at Signature because I couldn’t find the place I wanted on the map. I had the breakfast buffet ($14) which consisted of granola cereal, fresh fruit, oatmeal, pastries/bread, and salmon. Now, I know that fancy people eat raw salmon for breakfast but this is not something I normally have available. So, I tried a piece with some onion, lemon, tomato, egg, and cilantro. Holy crap is that stuff good!! So, I had 4 more pieces (about 2X1” rolls). Loved it! Enough to go back to breakfast there tomorrow? We'll see.

The lunch place I tried to go to, Salud, was closed (what the… ?) so for lack of time I ate at the closest restaurant – frickin’ Signature Grill. I am beginning to recognize the servers there .

Why am I only commenting on the food on the trip? BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY THING GOING ON HERE.

At 2:00pm I went to the first portion of the tradeshow were I have a booth. This was by far the highlight of the day because I got to see/talk to other people, and because we were slammed from beginning to end. Lots of good business opportunities!! Hopefully this level of activity does not mean that I’ll be bored at the show tomorrow…

In about a half hour I’m heading out of here for the informal night. We’re going to the Pima Air Museum to look at lots of planes (including an old Air Force One – the one JFK’s successor was sworn in on according to one convention goer) and eat dinner. Hopefully this will be fun! If not, it’s back to The Gunslinger…

Weekend of 7/6/06

Well the short week lead into a short weekend. Jim and I did enjoy a fabulously prepared meal over at Tom’s on Friday night (we invited ourselves and they didn’t seem to mind so we didn’t turn down their formal offer!) which sealed his title of “good cook” in my book. For the record, Tom did show me the ENTIRE house on my tour. We played games and generally hung out with Kelly, Toby, Brian, Tom, Jenny, Jenny’s sisters Nikki and Cindy, and eventually Tom’s sister Molly (who has more energy than a 5 year old, she’s amazing).

Tom won out over Jenny and lent me my next book, The Dark Tower 1: The Gunslinger, by Stephen King. Just starting at the airport this morning I’m about half way though. It’ll be a pathetic day if I finish it tonight. In fact, I might specifically not read it just to make sure it lasts me my whole trip.

Last night Rusty, Diane, Robin and Bob came down from Spencerville and we cooked out. Real reason for their visit (beyond visiting their nephew and neice-in-law) was to go through Jim’s grandmother’s pictures. Wanda passed away about 2 years ago and now the pain has worn off enough of the kids (Rusty and Robin) to go through the albums. Nice trip down memory lane for them, kinda boring for me as I was only in her life for about 2 years and didn’t know ¾ of the people I was looking at…

Which leads me to today. I got up around 7:40am and got ready for my big trip to AZ. I’m here for a convention that I attend annually. While I’m technically in Tuscan, I’m in this remote resort that has nothing around it and would lead to a $30 cab ride if I wanted to go anywhere off prem. So, I’m kind of a prisoner at this place. The picture should give you a good idea of my view – lots of cacti, mountains, and an oasis-looking golf course in the middle of the desert. I’m alone here with no real friends at the show and obviously not anything real exciting to do, especially at night… I miss Jim already.

The show starts tomorrow and I am still missing a box which unfortunately contains my give-aways for the attendees (kites). I left Carol a message to check the tracking on it tomorrow. I don’t present until 2:00pm so I have some time to track it down.

Well, off to dinner. I’m starving!

It's Pouring Underwear

Victoria’s Secret’s marketing department is out of control. I got a card in the mail about 2 months ago that was for a free panty and $10 off of a sports bra. Wonderful! It expired on 6/19. Around 6/12 I got another coupon out of my Glamour magazine that expired 7/31. I was really happy at this point because I was thinking about an overhaul to my unmentionables drawer and thought 2 free pair would be a good start.

I was disappointed when I went in on 6/19 to redeem my coupon and they closed early for the Semi-Annual Clearance Sale but figured I still had the other coupon at home so I wouldn’t pout too much.

Jim brought me home magazines from work (these publishers still think he works in Marketing!) and I proceeded to collect not 1, not 2, but 3 more identical coupons expiring on 7/31 from these magazines. It started to become a joke between Jim and I at this point.

All our kidding only breeded more insanity - yesterday I got a direct mail piece from VS that contained yet another free panty coupon and a $5 coupon for sweatpants of all things. I supposed that just because the pants are pink VS feels required to sell them. Who knows.

Story’s not over. I just picked up the mail – another frickin’ coupon!!! Same one as yesterday!!!

What’s going on!? I’m thrilled to death but concerned about the financial standing of Limited Brands – how can they afford to give away so much merchandise!?

Book Report, Chapter 9

Remember a few reports ago when I quoted Emerson about the idea that everyone is superior to you in some way and that you must remember that when dealing with people and respect them for it? This chapter reminds you that not only should you remember that fact but keep in mind that the other person knows it too. Think honestly to yourself, is there not a trait about you (maybe more than 1 if you’re lucky) that you know is better than someone else’s grasp of that same quality? Be honest. What are you good at?

Of the people I know…
Tom’s skill that’s better than anyone’s is his sincere desire to help other people in any way he can.
Jen’s is to see the bright side of situations and help you see them too.
Sarah’s is the warm feeling that she has with guests and friends that make them feel like the most important person in the world.
Jim’s is that he knows a little bit about a lot of things and can easily adapt to new groups and situations.
Dale’s is that he is constantly thinking and sees opportunities from multiple angles.
Andrew’s is his creative nature and exquisite presentation of his ideas.

I could go on and on. Chances are the qualities that I see my friends being superior at are not necessarily the ones that they think of first when self-reflecting.

When dealing with people, Carnegie advises that to make friends fast “talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours” (p. 111). Or more clearly – "make the other person feel important- and do it sincerely" (p. 111). Find out what it is that the other person is “superior” at and praise them for that quality. Listen sincerely, as previously advised, and try to learn from that person so that you can better yourself in the process.

Last night at my parents' Fourth of July party Chuck and Kristi sat with my 80 year old grandfather and let him go on about fishing, traveling, who knows what. When I stopped by to sit with them Chuck enthusiastically stated: “Karen, we want to take your grandfather home with us. He could teach us a lot of things about a lot of things.” My grandfather beamed. I was touched at the sentiment and the public recognition for a life well-lead. (I was also tickled that Chuck and Kristi would sit and listen to an elderly man as attentively as they did for as long as they did.) I thought more of my friends and of my grandfather at the end of my stay in their presence. I have no doubt that the conversation my grandfather had with them was the highlight of his night.

Learn from Chuck and Kristi – sincerely listen to others and appreciate the things they do well.

Mid-Weekend Report

I got my wish today – I did a whole lot of nothing. I was worn out from a busy and frustrating work week and even more tired after 2 late nights in a row with friends (the Gardners on Friday night and great introduction of Tom to Jen’s friends at our place last night). I spent today finishing up Wicked, an all-around disappointing book, and watching MI3 with Jim at the dollar theatre. I took a half hour nap and I’m thawing out dinner for the making now.

Some details for those who are interested since Jen and Tom don’t report in specifics (only love-struck generalities that leave those not directly involved smiling but still curious)… Saturday night we had a whole gang over. The true point of it, in addition to having fun with friends of course, was for Jenny to present her new boyfriend to those friends most dear to her for “review”. We’ll all coyly admit that such rituals carry no real meaning any more (did truly they before?) as we’re all old enough to make decisions such as who to date without the permission of our friends or family. Regardless, it was a casual environment intended to let Kelly and Jessy especially meet Tom.

If I’m being totally honest, which I have no reason not to be as this is my blog after all, I was very intrigued to see Jen and Tom together. Granted I introduced them for all intents and purposes and had heard many glorious details about their affairs from each of them separately, but I had yet to see them physically together. Doing so, I predicted, was going to be a rather strange event as it was quite literally a blend of my old (HS) and new (adult) life merging before my eyes. I’m happy to report that it was incredibly natural.

Jen and Tom just fit. We played bocce and they teased one another. We played board games and they competed flirtatiously. Jessy commented at one point that she felt like a window because Jen was looking past her at Tom so often. They were intellectually matched on several games and laughed throughout the night. It was fantastic to watch your friends so happy. After all, isn’t that what friends want for their friends more than anything?

I have 2 more days of my long weekend and I’m so grateful for the break. The Alaska count-down is presently at 18 days…

So Close!!!

I’m freaking out. I’m in the lead for a sales contest at work that will win me a 42” plasma TV that I really really need since our old TV is still dead. I am relying on this one client to sign their paperwork and get it to me TODAY in order for me to secure my winning status. The guy who’s to sign isn’t in the office until MONDAY! AUGH!!!!! I need to work some miracles with my primary contact!! AUGH!!!!

Book Report, Chapter 8

William Lyon Phelps, essayist and professor of literature at Yale tells the following story:

“When I was eight years old and was spending a weekend visiting my Aunt Libby Linsley at her home in Stratford on the Housatonic,” he wrote in his essay on Human Nature, “a middle-aged man called one evening, and after a polite skirmish with my aunt, he devoted his attention to me. At that time, I happened to be excited about boats, and the visitor discussed the subject in a way that seemed to me particularly interesting. After he left, I spoke of him with enthusiasm. What a man! My aunt informed me he was a New York lawyer, and that he cared nothing whatever about boats- that he took not the slightest interest in the subject. ‘but why then did he talk all the time about boats?’ ‘Because he is a gentleman. He saw you were interested in boats, and he talked about the things he knew would interest and please you…” (p. 94-95).

And a business example:

Edward E. Harriman of Hagerstown, MD chose to live in the beautiful Cumberland Valley of Maryland after he completed his military service. Unfortunately, at that time there were few jobs available in the area. A little research uncovered the fact that a number of companies in the area were either owned or controlled by an unusual business maverick, R.J. Funkhouser, whose rise from poverty to riches intrigued Mr. Harriman. However, he was known for being inaccessible to job seekers. Mr. Harriman wrote:

“I interviewed with a number of people and found that his major interest was anchored in his drive for power and money. … When I told her [(his secretary)] I had a proposition for him which might translate itself into financial and political success for him, she became enthused. … After this conversation she arranged for me to meet Mr. Funkhouser.

I entered his huge and impressive office determined not to ask directly for a job. He was seated behind a large carved desk and thundered at me, ‘How about it, young man?’ I said, ‘Mr. Funkhouser, I believe I can make money for you.’ He immediately rose and invited me to sit in one of the large upholstered chairs. I eneumerated my ideas and the qualifications I had to realize these ideas, as well as how they would contribute to his personal success and that of his businesses.

R.J., as he became known to me, hired me at once and for over twenty years I have grown in his enterprises and we both have prospered.” (p. 98).

The point is – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Book Report, Chapter 7

Chapter 7 is titled “An Easy Way to Be a Good Conversationalist” and I’ve found this chapter to be remarkably true in my own life. The basic idea is to be a good listener. Remembering from my past report, people are principally interested in themselves. “…the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interest on more than forty earthquakes in Africa” (p. 93).

As always, a story to illustrate the point:

…I met a distinguished botanist at a dinner party given by a New York publisher. I had never talked with a botanist before and I found him fascinating. I literally sat on the edge of my chair and listened while he spoke of the exotic plants and experiments in developing new forms of plant life and indoor gardens (and even told me astonishing facts abou the humble potato). I had a small indoor garden of my own-and he was good enough to tell me how to solve some of my problems.

… Midnight came. I said good night to everyone and departed. The botanist then turned to our host and paid me several flattering compliments. I was “most stimulating.” I was this and I was that, and he ended by saying I was a “most interesting conversationalist.”

An interesting conversationalist? Why, I had said hardly anything at all. I couldn’t have injected anything if I had wanted to without changing the subject, for I didn’t’ know any more about botany thank I knew about the anatomy of a penguin. But I had done this: I had listened intently. (p. 85)

When I first started sales I had to take a training class where the instructor reiterated throughout that I was to be doing 20% of the talking and the prospect was to do 80% on an appointment. I follow this rule closely not because I was told to but because it works. Most of my clients adore me and I them. While this sounds cocky, I’m proud to be able to accurately state it. I know their weekend activities, their kid’s due date and get invited to their weddings because I am sincerely interested in them on both professional and a personal level.

Former Harvard President Charles W. Eliot was quoted in saying “There is no mystery about successful business intercourse…. Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that.” I could not agree more. This statement is fact in both the business world and the social world and living by this creed does wonders in both.

Video of Jim doing Kwan Dao Kata

Double Click On the Image Above to Watch!

Successful Best Testing!!!

Jim and his Kwan Dao

Jim doing Yen He kata

Tom P- Yellow to Blue

And a special fan! Sarah!

Book Report, Chapter 6

Though I did not mention it before, the book is divided into 3 main sections: The Six Ways to Make People Like You; The Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking; and The Nine Ways to Change People Without Arousing Resentment. For your own reference, this summary is the third chapter in section 2. Yes, that means we have a long way to go yet… (would be faster if I wasn’t reading Wicked and People at the same time!).

Let me start with a story taken from page 77:

What was the reason for Andrew Carnegie’s success? He was called the Steel King; yet he himself knew little about the manufacture of steel. He had hundreds of people working for him who knew far more about steel than he did.

But he knew how to handle people and that is what made him rich. Early in life, he showed a flair for organization, a genius for leadership. By the time he was 10, he too discovered the astounding importance people place on their own name. And he used that discovery to win cooperation. To illustrate: When he was a boy back in Scotland, he got a hold of a rabbit, a mother rabbit. Presto! He soon had a whole nest of little rabbits- and nothing to feed them. But he had a brilliant idea. He told the boys and girls in the neighborhood that if they would go out and pull enough clover and dandelions to feed the rabbits he would name the bunnies in their honor.

The pan worked like magic, and Carnegie never forgot it.

It is important and a sign of respect to remember the name of the people you meet. Especially because so many people forget the name of the acquaintance they just met by the time the leave the introduction. Therefore, take the time to remember the names of the people you meet. If you are bad with names, go so far as to keep a journal of those you’ve met so that if you find yourself invited to a place they may be again you can prepare before you go. Remembering names will always help you and will never hurt you in any and every situation.

A final example, Jim and his manager Aaron went to lunch in the cafeteria each afternoon after working out. Being men of routine (Jim? Noooo!), they frequently went to the same counter to get their food. Jim would ask for his item and the worker would give him the appropriate amount and hand it to him with a quick “thank you”. Aaron, on the other hand, made a point to remember the woman’s name and greeted her with a smile (see previous chapter) and a “What’s going on, Beatrice?” It was no mistake that Aaron’s sandwich had quite a bit more meat than my husband’s.

A person's name is the most beautiful word in the world to them.

Homearama 2006 Highlights

One of the prettier ponds in a backyard

The prettiest nursery I saw! Mom claims the dust that the draperies would collect would drive me nuts but I think it looks nice.

Holy Shower, Batman!

This playroom was awesome! It had a chalkboard (left), tent, picnic table (right) and many other play set things that are further left than this picture caught.

The neatest feature in 2 houses this year - a back wall that was really sliding glass doors. These doors opened up to the patio (where my mom and grandmother are standing) that had screends to enclose it need be. This feature essentially added another 1/3 to the size of the new larger room and brought a really great indoor/outdoor blend to the area.

One of many basements that was 2X larger than my current house!

Busy Bee

Well, I’m back to my busy ways…. Last night J and I had dinner, watched the Sopranos (on DVD) and headed off to his softball game. The boys are not having such a stellar season (as Dale has been reporting) but it’s nice to be outside and cheering. I used to keep score for the boys but I admittedly get too caught up in visiting the other fans to keep fully accurate books so my duties have been turned over to Jim/Carole. J I’m not offended, I’d rather chat anyway.

Last night my grandparents, mom, and [soon-to-be????] sister-in-law Lindsey came to watch. We were the only people there to cheer the guys on other than Carole, but had a good time none-the-less. (geez I’m using lots of –‘s in this blog)

Bryan scored us some Homearama tickets so the same group is headed out to Mason tonight to drool over $1MM+ houses. Jim, who has no desire to do that, will be staying at home. Ah well… we’ll see each other some time this month.

Two Cool Invites in 1 Day!

Yesterday was a pretty awesome day of opportunity. The work-day went well professionally – I was pretty productive and was happy with what I accomplished by 5:00. A client of mine offered to take me on a hot air balloon ride sometime. His wife is a bit afraid of the heights and he’d like someone to go along. I was really excited though Jim’s sentiments echoed the wife’s so he’s sitting this adventure out. Exciting!

I got to leave a little early at the end of the day because my friend Lori invited me to go to the zoo for a reception. She snagged free tickets from her mother who’s company donated bunches of money and were being thanked. We milled around and checked out the koalas, baby cheetahs, flamingos, snakes, etc. and snacked on crab cakes and spring rolls. Both in our 20’s, we probably lowered the average attendee age to 60 or so which made finding an exciting dinner table pretty impossible. After our dinner, however, they did a tribute to Cathryn Hilker who turned 75 and has put the Cincinnati Zoo on the map with her work with cheetahs. This woman is a stud when it comes to cheetahs and Lori was all a flurry with excitement to meet her.

So meet her we did and not only did she get a picture with the renowned Cathryn, but she hooked us up with a personal invite from her to PET A CHEETAH. Holy crap. Now the key is nagging Lori and remind her that Cathryn said “and bring your friend” when the invite was extended!

Book Report, Chapter 5

I think that this little ditty on pages 73-74 at the end of the chapter (one you might have seen in email forwards through the years) sums up the entire chapter eloquently. It was first published by a NYC department store in their Christmas advertising.

It costs nothing, but creates much.
It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.
It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.
It is the rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad and Nature’s best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthy good to anybody till it is given away.
And if in the last-minute rush of Christmas buying some of our salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you leave one of yours?
For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have non left to give!

The point is: SMILE.

Weekend of 6/16/06

It’s going to take me a few days to recover from this weekend. After one of the busiest work days that I’ve had in months on Friday I got home late and made Jim dinner. We headed to Geoff’s for croquet and cards that evening and I got a little reminiscent – J and I met at Geoff’s playing croquet and cards just over 4 years ago. I discovered that being Jewish is a whole way of life that I have no idea about. Jim and I were 2 of maybe 4 Gentiles there and I felt like we really stuck out. Not that I was uncomfortable, but I wish I knew a little bit more about the religion so I could understand all that was happening around me. All of Geoff’s Jewish friends relate being Jewish to almost every aspect of life from what I could tell- social activities, work, etc. There’s apparently an online dating service, JDate, that is specifically aimed at matching single Jewish people. Why this was surprising to me at the time I’m not sure; I know there are Christian dating services and several of them at that, but the fact that ones for the Jewish population was unexpected. I live in a hole. I don’t know. Anyway, it was the first time in my life I felt the need to convert to a new religion to fit in (I say this tongue in cheek as you can imagine).

Saturday we set out for the 4 hour drive north to the Land of Cleve for Sarah and Danny’s baby shower. It was hosted at her brother Ben’s place and was attended by about 25 family members from various parts of Ohio. I was in charge of games and people seemed to really enjoy the memory game I made which I was really pleased about. Sarah also has a very funny gay cousin that has a dry sense of humor that kept me chuckling throughout the day. Disappointing that he was pretty cute and the female population won’t get a shot, but I guess the gay community needs some hot men in it too. ; ) Sarah and Danny made out like bandits with a crazy amount of Pooh-themed gifts. Jim was a bit confused as to the function of several items (as was Danny at times too which I thought was funny and cute) such as receiving blankets (“why do you need more than 1?”). It was a L-O-N-G drive home from the shower and I was nodding off periodically but of course as soon as we walked in the house around 12:30 I was wide awake.

Sunday was just as busy. We got up around 9, ate breakfast and went to church. When we got home I had to pick up the last part of our Father’s Day gift (a bocce set) for dad and grab some groceries. Jen called me around 2 to gush about her wonderful weekend and her hot new boyfriend so I got to giggle for about 45 minutes with her. Father’s Day party was fun but low-key for the most part. Played the new bocce game (and won!), ate dinner, watched the US Open. When Mike came to pick me up around 8:15 is when things got rowdy. Mike is hysterical, plain and simple. I had so much fun with him out at MLK- we laughed, we gossiped, we bitched, we reminisced. We discussed how even though our lives are very different we’re still very much the same. It was great. He was great. He is great. Now I miss him and want him back again. : ( He sent me the sweetest text message when he got home that made my eyes crinkle when I read it. WHY DO SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE LIVE OUTSIDE OF MY CITY!? You kill me people, you really do!

So now I’m at work plugging away at the mounds of junk on my desk. I want to crawl back into bed and take a nap so badly but I’m encouraging myself to be productive!!

Exciting News Report!

I got a call last night around 10:30 that had me smiling ear to ear:

Anne Marquette and Sean Murphy are Engaged!

Happened on Sunday at King’s Island (first date location) on top of the Eiffel Tower.

More details to come when I see her/them on Monday!

Congratulations!!

Medusa's Son

This is my dear brother, Greg, after we pulled the highlighting cap off his head around 11:30 tonight. I joked that he looked like he was going to a Bob Marley concert. : )

Kick Ass Weekend

Updated With Pictures (see end)

I found when I went back and reread this it was super-choppy. I thought about going back and editing it to sound all fluid and great like Viki's recap but realized that this was how the weekend went for me- packed with lots of activities non-stop. There was no time during the weekend to be calm- there was too much to do with my friends!!- so I left the post just as I wrote it... Rambling and fun.

This weekend was W-I-L-D. Friday night I had dinner with Sarah W and Jim and then Viki and Sarah F came within 15 minutes of each other (both drove over 7.5 hours to come visit! How fabulous are they?!). We went to a hilarious party at Megan's with just the girls where treacherous things happened that I won't speak of in public but will forever keep in my memory and smile about for years (Sarah F's "tea" incident and Viki's flip are now burned in my mind for all time!) He hhehe.

We stayed up late and I cooked the Sarahs grilled cheese. We finally hit the sack around 2. I didn't sleep particularly well because I was worried I'd forget to set up Viki's tae bo in the morning and I didn't want to be a bad hostess. I'm such a dork. Anyway, we ate strawberry pancakes and gossiped and giggled. I was reminded again how much I really love these women and how lucky I am to have friends like them.

Saturday night I went to Jonathon's party for an hour then headed to Dayton for the official reunion. 5 years... where did the time go?! We had an awesome dinner at Lisa's and then went to the Porch Party on campus. Holy crap was that fun. There were these huge tents and about 500 people in attendance. The band was awesome. I taught some older alums how to play flip cup and at one point we had 16 people per side competing. Lisa dubbed me the "cup whisperer" for teaching them the tricks of the trade. Then I went to the bathroom in the mens room because the women's line was too long. Most everyone was having a great time and acting like idiots. I felt like I was back at college!! It was amazing.

I was thrilled Lisa came out again to the Fieldhouse for late night drinks and I finagled Sarah a free birthday beer from the 'tender. I proceeded to profusely tell my friends how great they were and they made fun of me for being so over-the-top. We called Trey and laughed until my sides hurt. I remembered this chick Amanda that I forgot existed and all I could remember about her was how she got me in trouble in Daytona. OK, encouraged me to get myself in trouble in Daytona... The memories! it was great to just remember!!

In totality, the weekend was great but so exhausting. How did I do that every weekend for 4 years?! Thank God I get a 5 year hiatus from a repeat though it'll take me that long to recover! It was wonderful to see everyone again and to spend time with them in general. I think it was more special because we aren't together anymore and this really was a treat.

Andy's Pictures (you'll have to cut & paste into your browser): http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/andyud01/

album?.dir=bbfdscd&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/andyud01/my_photos

Sarah's Pictures: www.clarinetsw.blogspot.com

Awesome Day starting at 7:30

HOORAY!!! Today is going to be a great day! I woke up feeling very rested and did go through the traditional routine described below. On the way to work I heard a good song (Leanne Rimes (sp?) “Someone’s Gotta Give”) but begrudgingly chose to turn it off to hear the “Hollywood Trash” report instead. Then, as soon as that was done I switched to another station’s “Battle of the Sexes” game that I like to listen to (yes, I’m competitive even in the morning) and it was on!! Normally the two segments overlap one another and I have to choose which one to miss part of. Right after that game was done what came on??? "Someone’s Gotta Give"!!! Kick Ass.

Other wonderful news- some of my most favorite people in the world are coming to Cincinnati this evening! I’m skipping home over my lunch break to start a pot roast for dinner and I get to dine with Sarah W, Viki and Jim. Around 7:30 Sarah F will be in town and we’re all going to a Pure Romance party to be girly. Jim joked that tonight should be every man’s dream – his wife and three of her friends out for a night of drinking and girl parties coming home wound up to spend the night. Ha ha ha.

Viki will be funny and do her Tae Bo in the morning, Sarah will make us strawberry pancakes, and I better feel my Godchild move!

: ) This is great!!

Morning Routine

Routines are an interesting thing. I suspect that everyone has one for weekday mornings that they follow and very likely on weekends too. My morning routine M-F is always the same (what a shock, I know):

1. Jim pseudo wakes me up by cuddling in bed for 3 minutes before he eats breakfast
2. I get out of bed at exactly 7:30
3. I go to the bathroom and take my thyroid pill
4. Turn the radio on to my morning show
5. Shower- wash hair, rinse hair, condition hair, wash body, rinse conditioner out, wash face, dry off. In that order.
6. Turn on curling iron and dry hair
7. Straighten/curl hair as determined in shower
8. Tone Face
9. Put on Deodorant
10. Moisturize face
11. Put make-up on
12. Pick out the day’s outfit
13. Turn on iron
14. Make the bed
15. Iron clothes
16. Get dressed
17. Turn off radio
18. Leave at 8:11
19. Get to work at 8:29
20. Get coffee (with 1/2 packet of Sweet N' Low and a dollop of vanilla creamer) and granola bar
21. Read CNN.com top news stories so I’m “in-tune” with the world
22. Read blogs
23. Plow into email

Every day. Same thing. Same order. The only variance is when I kiss Jim good-bye because he leaves at various times. Maybe I am OCD... Perhaps this is an area that I could start my spontaneous activities? Or is that too much to tackle in the first hour of being awake?

Book Report, Chapter 4

Chapter 4 is entitled “Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere”. The message is: You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Carnegie suggests this based on the theory again that people are first and foremost interested in themselves. For example, when you look at a photograph that you are in, whose picture do you search for first?

People are most comfortable talking about themselves than any other subject for the simple reason that they know themselves better than any subject and can look important (see chapter 2). Listening to others will bring them joy and you respect and admiration for being interested in them. Think about who your closest friends are – are they the ones with the most interesting life? Who’ve traveled far and wide? Who’ve accomplished great things? Or are your great friends the ones you know you can call if you feel lost/frightened/sad/overjoyed? The ones who you know you can count on to be there when you need them; essentially the people who will let you talk about your concerns and experiences and are interested in you (this principle in reverse).

The key here to living this principle is to become GENUINELY interested in people and not just put on psychiatrist sessions to let people ramble on. Some people are so desperate for attention that they will talk to anyone who will listen. While these people will love you too for being their outlet for information, it is the quality people who will appreciate your gesture for what it is and to whom this advice is most beneficial.

Ruth in my office best exemplifies this. Literally as I type she’s practicing this method. A fellow co-worker picked up a second job in the evenings to make some extra money and occupy her time. This, of course, has nothing to do with Ruth in the primary context that the two know one another. Ruth could potentially benefit from this co-worker extending her new employee discount, but that’s not what she asked – she said “Did you get that other job? Good for you! How do you like it?” and sincerely listened for the answer. At the end of the short conversation she wrapped it up with “we don’t get to talk often enough”.

All day, every day, Ruth takes this interest in our clients too and they love her for it. She recognized a gentleman’s voice on the phone yesterday. As I walked by I overheard her ask if the man was the same she had talked to months ago that was going to serve in Iraq. She then asked several follow-up questions about his tour and if he was glad to be home. She thanked him for serving in the military and asked if there was anything else she could do for him. Do you think this person smiled during this conversation? Absolutely. Do you think he’ll stay a client with us for a long time? Absolutely.

Genuine interest is the golden ticket to relationships.

Accomplished Nothing

I don’t understand running. The concept of it in general I guess is good from a health standpoint, but the thought of moving that quickly when there’s no real need, ie nothing life-threatening is chasing you, doesn’t really make sense to me.

I’ve been feeling kind of down about my dad. We had a scuffle on Saturday night that hasn’t had me back to “normal” since. I sent him an email today that I meant, as in I meant what I said and believe it to be true, but now I feel guilty that I sent it because I think it might upset him. I thought writing it would make me feel better and really I don’t at all. This has me more upset because I think I might have made negative progress with the whole thing.

Which brings me to running. “People” seem to “always” say that they were frustrated with something and they "ran it out". I thought they meant that they started running and worked all the frustration out with the sweat, rhythm, and adrenaline of the activity.

So, looking for that type of relief, I set out of my driveway around 9:00pm. I walked about 300 yards to warm up and then I started jogging. Granted it was a slight incline but I felt like death by the time I reached my driveway again. My heart was pounding, my mouth was dry and I think my tongue was perspiring. I turned back the direction I came from and briskly walked around the block again just to justify my getting work-out clothes on in the first place.

I don’t feel any better mentally and I’m not really sure I feel better physically either. Downing a full bowl of the Cyclone ice cream Jim brought home doesn’t even sound good. Part of me says that I need to call him and talk this out but I can’t seem to work up the nerve. Besides, maybe he didn’t react like what I thought he would and all this angst on my part is for naught. I don't feel like myself at all as a result of this. I feel : P .

Saturday Fishing

Yesterday Jim, Greg, Grandpa and I went fishing up at Red’s Lake. I’ll admit I was a bit rusty on casting but learned pretty quickly and ended up catching more fish (sunfish, croppies, bass) than the boys. Grandpa kept teasing them that I was going to be offering casting lessons for $15/hour as they could only get the line out 2/3 as far as I did.

For the record:
YES, I bait my own hook (with minnows).
YES, I will unhook my own catch.
YES, I did eat my doughnut after fishing for 2 hours and did not wash my hands first.
YES, I waited until I got home so I didn’t have to pee in the woods.

Greg is exceptionally funny. He had us laughing all morning with the naming of his bait, justifications for he and grandpa not having butts, the necessity for him to get a “sugar momma in the near future”.

Grandpa didn’t fish with us but served as maintenance man the whole morning: I got a bad tangle, Jim broke his rod on his first cast, and many a fish swallowed the hook and required pliers to remove it. Still, a good time had by all.

Here’s some pics so you too can “relive” the morning:

Grandpa: Teacher, Maintenance Man, Contest Referee

He got one!

A pretty bass!
(and quite a handsome husband!)

He caught it too well! It turned into a 2-man job to unhook it!

One of Many!

Fishin' Men

In the News

Some odd things I’ve come across in the last 40 minutes:

1) The rope-less jump rope (first heard about on my morning show on the drive in to work
2) The 3-armed baby (CNN.com)
3) A quote in an article about the new Batwoman’s being gay (people think it would be more ground-breaking if the superhero was ugly)

I'm Going Nutty

Our house has always had a fair number of woodland creatures. We started with a bunny that lived in our back yard and routinely sat out in the open for us to watch. Now, in the front yard, we have squirrels.

Now I think the squirrels are adorable, especially when they play together. There are always 2 together, who I think are sweet on one another, and sometimes, like this morning, there are 3.

My grandfather on my mom’s side used to have a wild squirrel that visited him, Charlie. Grandpa trained the squirrel to trust him and eventually got him to sit between his feet and he’d hand-feed it peanuts. When I told them at lunch last week of our new “pets” he got very excited. Apparently they expected squirrels at their new house in Mason but that concept is apparently a geographic impossibility. So, he gave me the bag of peanuts that he intended on using.

Last night our two friends were out in the yard and I tossed them 2 peanuts and put one on our retaining wall. They weren’t remotely interested. I wasn't encouraged that the nuts were still there this morning when Jim and I went outside to investigate. I’m hoping this is just a failed first attempt and that they’ll come around.

Meanwhile I’ll just look like an idiot standing in my front door in my PJ’s photographing the squirrels.

Weekend of 5/26

Whew! What a weekend! 800miles and 14.5 hours of driving later I feel like Sarah Ford. And I can’t say I like it. Driving in cars sucks and my resolution to fly whenever possible stand more firm today as a result of this weekend.

Jim and I took of a half day on Friday and drove the 3 hours northwest to Ft. Wayne, IN to visit his oldest cousin (on his mother’s side) and her family. This was apparently very big news in the family as literally everyone and their brother knew we were going out there and gossiped about it for weeks ahead of time as we learned over dinner. We weren’t quite sure what the big deal was… We had a great dinner, played fuse ball, chatted the night away and crashed around midnight. We spent the night and woke up to a great breakfast and warm wishes as we set off more westbound to Medaryville, IN for his oldest cousin on his father’s side’s wedding.



A few firsts for me as we entered deeper into IN (and don’t poke fun at me! Jim’s family was very excited at my getting country-fied)- J and I stopped at an old-fashioned root beer stand for lunch (where they bring the food to you on trays dangling from your car window) and I stayed at my first ever Motel. Overall, Denise’s wedding was very friendly and sweet though H-O-T with no air conditioning at either the church or reception site. We stayed until around 11 then headed back to the Motel for a luke-warm bath in the whirlpool (ran out of hot water about half way through filling the tub) and a very restful night of sleeping.
Sunday morning we drove about 4.5 hours (1.5 more than expected) from IN to Columbus, OH to visit Jim’s prego step-sister, Laci. She was ecstatic to see us and introduced us to her boyfriend and his kids/family. Nice time visiting but we were eager to get home and rest.

Went to the gym yesterday (Monday) and it was actually refreshing to be back. I think that much of that was being back home and into routine rather than my body being happy to be stretched and worked. I’ve been drowning in email all day today, so much that I started this post at 8:42 and am just putting it up now!!!

Living Life by a Calendar

I come from a lifetime of planners. When I was little my parents let us try out any activity we wanted which meant that the entire week was jam-packed with soccer games, baseball practice, swim meets, and girl scouts. Even when I got older and could drive myself I scheduled in activities like baby-sitting, refereeing and HS clubs that required me to be places at set times. When I arrived at UD I became friends with a lot of folks in the marching band who had their time plotted around practices and football games and then SAI- activities that I, and consequently my free time, got swallowed up in too. Upon graduation I went into sales- a career centered around appointments and multi-tasking that requires high-levels of organization to make the best use of my 40 hours a week. Today my friends recognize that to spend time with me we need to schedule it, sometimes weeks in advance, because my married life is as full as my single life and I’m just not available for impromptu events.

I’m a planning freak.

I had dinner with Tom and Brian last night and we discussed this “illness” (ok, maybe that’s an over-exaggeration of their feelings) that I have with scheduling my time. I thought about it then and since and see that I’m not the only one- my friends are planning freaks for the most part too. Viki, even back in college, lives by her pocket calendar (palm pilot now?). Karen keeps her daily planner with her at all times in her purse. My parents still have a calendar up that they keep track of their bridge nights and family get-togethers. My clients, and now husband, are reliant on the fact that I send them email notifications of our meetings and conference calls.

I will admit though that I’m to the point in my planning obsession that if we do have a free night I feel like I’m wasting time – if I don’t have an event scheduled I wish I did so I could be out with friends. I’m very grateful for those who live spontaneous lifestyles that are often available last minute in these situations, ala Dale, because it means we can see them more often than we would otherwise when these free nights come up.

Tom challenged me to live 1 week spontaneously. I honestly don’t think I can do it. To begin with, I’d have to SCHEDULE a week to do it and then PLAN to not do things that week by turning things and people down when they ask in advance. Further, I fear that I’d be rude declining invitations – wouldn’t that sound like I was waiting for a better offer if I was non-committal? That’s how I’d take it I think… Maybe I’m being rude right now because people feel like they have to reserve my time and I’m not always assessable like Tom seems to be.

Overall though, I can’t imagine a complete lifestyle change… even for 1 week…

Book Report, Chapter 3

I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?”

This passage was taken from opening of Chapter 3 in How To Win Friends and Influence People and I think it is not only a good introduction but a good summary of the message the chapter tells: If you want someone to do something, entice them with what they want, not what you want. Even when you’re “unselfish” and donate money to causes you’re still acting in your own best interest – you’d rather have the feeling of doing good than the money.

Another story from page 35: A child is throwing a tantrum refusing to start kindergarten the following morning. The mother is frustrated with reassuring the child that he’ll have fun and eventually puts her foot down and insists that he go. The child continues to scream that he won’t. The father, having just taken Carnegie’s seminar, comes up with an idea. Both parents and the older brother make a list of all the wonderful things the child will experience at school and begin to finger-paint pictures in the kitchen. Sheepishly the child peeks around the corner to see what they’re doing and asks if he can paint too. “No, you can’t yet,” the father tells him, “you must first go to kindergarten and learn how like the rest of us did.” The next morning the father comes down the stairs to see the child dressed with his backpack on waiting at the door. “Why are you up so early?” The father asks. “I don’t want to be late for kindergarten,” the boy responds.

Align your goals to those of your peer and you will accomplish everything you both want.

Final Piece of Good Advice:
"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own” – Henry Ford

Chapter 2 in Action

Jenny emailed me today and below her comments was an email she’d sent someone else earlier today. In that other message she commented to them about something that I’d said a long time ago that was meaningful to her. This was touching, obviously (to the point that I’m writing about it!), but to illustrate my subject line: Jenny’s a Carnegie pro – she publicly praised me to another person which made me feel extra appreciated and important and therefore made me love and appreciate her all the more! Right now I'd totally do anything she'd ask me to.

Book Report, Chapter 2

Chapter 2, “The Big Secret of Dealing With People”, says that the only way to make people do anything is to give them what they want and more than anything people want to feel important. Carnegie sites examples of famous historians and their lengths they went to be put on pedestals: Catherine the Great refused to open letters that were not addressed to “Her Imperial Majesty”; lonely people go to the hospital with multiple types of fictional medical problems; millionaires funded Antarctic expeditions with the understanding that the discovered mountain ranges would be named in their honor. Everyone wants to be important.

So how do you make others feel important? Not with flattery. On the bust of a Mexican General, Lavaro Obregon, were these words that echoed the General’s philosophy: “Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you” (p 29). Flattery is cheap and insincere praise and only carries selfish motives.

Appreciation, on the other hand, is sincere and is felt most deeply in the heart of the recipient. Connecting Chapter 1’s theme of biting your tounge, Charles Schwab is quoted as saying “In my wide association in life, meeting with many and great people in various parts of the world, I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism” (p. 25). Telling others of their greatness in an appreciative manner will ignite respect and friendship because it is the only honest way to make someone feel important. Pass on compliments to the chef who prepared your filet exceptionally well, praise the bellhop with your gratefulness for his speedy handling of your bags, tell your child that you’re proud of their good report card. Each has a sincere level of flattery in the core of the statement that makes the other person feel important, but adds the layer of making them feel good that they benefited you in some way too.

One last thing I’d like to mention from Chapter 2: Emerson is quoted on page 31 with a phrase that I reread probably 10 times: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” This statement couldn’t be more true and I expect that by keeping this ever in mind appreciating others will be second nature.

He's Here!!

Welcome, Ben!

May 21, 2006

7lbs. 15 oz

Baby Ben

Big Sister, Emily

Proud Parents, Sean & Jessica

Check out all that hair!!

Happy Ladies

Book Report, Chapter 1

I am reading a book at my husband’s suggestion that more than lives up to his praises. Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People sounds, by title alone, like something that a salesperson should be required to read their first week on the job. While I’ve been selling for five years now, this is the first time I have picked it up.

I’m happy to report that several of the items Carnegie suggests I’m already incorporating into my life both professionally and socially. I will admit, however, that I’m not using the techniques to their fullest potential.

With this in mind I’m going to take some time to journal about these principles for the mutual benefit of my readers and I – for me so that I can remember them and consider ways to use them more fully and for my readers here who might not have time to read the book that but could certainly benefit from it in some small way(s).

Chapter 1 is titled "If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive". The bottom line concept this chapter stresses is that criticizing, condemning and complaining will not get you what you want. The only agenda, according to Carnegie, that people have is their own. If you speak ill of people, whether to their face or not, you are damaging the most important thing in the world to them- their pride. Being critical of others, even if it is justified, will only breed hurt on their part and will not influence them to do what it is you want done.

Let me quote an illustrative story that Carnegie shares on pages 14-15:
Bob Hoover, a famous test pilot and frequent performer at air shows, was returning to his home in Los Angeles from an air show in San Diego. As described in the magazine Flight Operations, at three hundred feet in the air both engines suddenly stopped. By deft maneuvering he managed to land the plan, but it was badly damaged although nobody was hurt.

Hoover’s first act after the emergency landing was to inspect the airplane’s fuel. Just as he suspected, the WWII propeller plane he had been flying had been fueled with jet fuel rather than gasoline.

Upon returning to the airport, he asked to see the mechanic who had serviced his airplane. The young man was sick with the agony of his mistake. Tears streamed down his face as Hoover approached. He had just caused the loss of a very expensive plane and could have caused the loss of three lives as well.

You can imagine Hoover’s anger. One could anticipate the tounge-lashing that this proud and precise pilot would unleash for that carelessness. But Hoover didn’t scold the mechanic; he didn’t even criticize him. Instead, he put his big arm around the man’s shoulder and said, “To show you I’m sure that you’ll never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow.”

The benefit that not criticizing in this or any situation gives in immeasurable compared to the alternative.

What We Did All Day!

Cruisin' the Crib

Here’s the scenario: friend of mine meets a new love prospect and invites said person to their house. The love interest has now visited twice and the host has not shown them around (that is, hasn’t given them a tour of the house).

Forgetting Emily Post, what’s your opinion on showing your house off to new visitors? A must? Too intrusive? Only if it’s clean?

Further, what do you as a guest feel if you’re not shown around the first time you go to someone else’s house? What if you’re never given the tour?

Raining outside and sunny in my office

Yesterday at work was a good day. I got some deals in, was consistently busy, and got to talk to clients I like. :) Today, I'm hoping, will be even better. I have no appointments to steal me away from the office, a desk full of things to do, and the intention of wrapping up the evening with Jim's double header tonight (double bonus of this meaning I don't go to the gym!). Weeks like this one I really like my job.

Workin' Out

Believe it or not I’ve been going to the gym pretty regularly. Not that I’m seeing any physical differences (yet?) but I am actually proud of myself for putting in the effort to go, especially when I go without Jim. Last week I went and met Mandy, a fitness trainer, so that she could take my beginning health stats and show me how to use the equipment. This is one of those times that while we discovered I’m one month her senior I feel like I’m 8 years older. Mandy has this cute little body that makes me frown at my own in the mirror and a blaze attitude that make her seem like there is nothing in the world of any great significance. She isn’t married, works all kinds of crazy hours at the gym with no consistent schedule, and says “like” an awful lot. So far I can’t find one thing I have in common with her. But strangely, she’s addictive.

I met her for the second time last night to learn how to use the weight equipment and ensure I was using proper technique when working out. We talked about random things and at the end she said she wants to meet with me twice more – once for a butt workout and another time for a shoulders/abs session. While the prospect of my ass being too sore to sit doesn’t seem very pleasant, I feel kinda special that now I have a pseudo trainer helping me out. When I got home around 7 to make dinner for Jim I ended up talking about her at various points until we went to bed at 11:30. Like I said, she’s addictive.

J and I also watched Season 1, Episode 1 of The Sopranos which we borrowed from the library. It made us laugh out loud a few times but doesn’t seem to have that grabbing hook that 24 did the first time we watched it. I'm assuming the hook is approaching though.

I'm Famous!!

I’d like to draw special attention to my debut on Dale’s website: http://wildting.blogspot.com//

Check me out!! (Thanks, Dale!!)

Mother's Day Weekend Update

Whew- another busy weekend. Friday at work was exhausting as I scrambled to finish up a week-long project for a conference call for a very major client. All went well but I was mentally worn out by 5:30.

Mom and Dad had J and I over for dinner right after work to celebrate my graduation and Sarah W surprised me by coming over too, bearing a congratulatory cake no less! (Thanks again, Sarah, it was great to hang out with you and have you as an honorary Templin once more!) It was the “whole family” with 8 of us eating together and then competing at a lively game of dominos. The family gave me a really beautiful XU frame for my diploma... now I have to wait for the "receipt" to arrive!

Saturday morning I woke to wonderful smells as my dear husband made us blueberry muffins for breakfast (J cooking anything is a rare treat- these were great and such a pleasant surprise at 10 in the am). We hit the gym for a few hours in the late morning with Greg, then went to Chipotle where Greg had his first ever Chipotle experience (I had no idea there were still Chipotle virgins in this country). We watched Inside Man (B) at the dollar cinema and then 2 For the Money (B-) in 2 parts at night. We went to an MBA graduation party for one of my classmates down in Newport, but Jim was itchy to leave after just an hour and a half so we came home around 11:15.

Today we’re headed to my aunt’s for Mother’s Day. I got my mom a gift certificate to the salon she wants to try out and an electric jewelry cleaning machine which I’m hoping does more than just rattle. I also stopped by and gave our neighbor across the street a M.D. card and potted flower. She was really touched which made me glad I took the time to do it. Now I just have to remember to tell Jim in case she thanks him too!

Recent Mind Numbing Activities

I’m tired. I’ve been doing this *^%^ spreadsheet all day and I’m certifiably worn out. I’ve been staring at the same set of numbers and running the same formulas all morning and I think my brain is getting numb.

Yes, I have been spending most of my free-time watching movies, if you’re beginning to wonder. Last night Jim and I rented the Chronicles of Narnia which was much better than the Chronicles of Riddick that we watched last week (that that the two are related in any way other than the title). Cute movie and I see why the kids would get into it. Great computer graphics. I will admit to looking at the White Witch several times and thinking “that woman needs a make-over”. J and I both liked Potter’s movies better given the choice between child fantasy flicks. I do think I’ll eventually take the Williams up though on borrowing their book(s) and reading it.

Jim’s mom picked up about 15 more movies for us from the truck stops. She called to tell me that she actually bought (as opposed to won like she does the others) The Prince & Me which is a flick I initially watched with Lisa and commented to Mom H about. I’m very excited to watch it again!

Tuesday Evening Happenings

Last night was my first, in my book, official night as a graduate. Any other Tuesday I would have had class last night but of course now I don’t! I went to the salon again for a follow-up from my Thursday appointment and then had dinner with Jim. Rather than go to the gym, which I thought we’d do, we decided to stay in and watch Jarhead. A particularly oddly directed movie, it did make me give extra thought to how happy I am that I’m NOT a marine (or any serviceperson for that matter). They do all kinds of stuff that I have no desire to do – boot camp, get shot at, kill people, hang out in 112 degree Middle Eastern deserts, etc. It also made me MORE grateful to those folks who will step up and do that.

We also got invited to Mom and Dad’s on Friday night to celebrate my graduation. I got a card in the mail from the Sackses (a last name was pluralized like that in the magazine I read last night… seems odd and I don’t remember what the proper grammar is for it… need to look it up) congratulating me on graduation. C wrote a particularly touching line at the end “we’re proud of you” which made me smile because you don’t hear that from your friends very often and I know that they sincerely mean it.

Available dates for our (I say “our” because we’ll be celebrating Jim’s accomplishment of earning a martial arts black belt at the same soirée) graduation party are quickly disappearing. Jim’s test isn’t until 6/17 (?) and we have Sarah’s baby shower, my bro’s party, Kristi’s baby shower, Alaskan trip, my work trip to AZ, and something else all fighting over available weekends. Perhaps this’ll turn into an August party…

Weekend of 5/5

The weekend was good. Friday night Jim and I went to Jag’s and had a great meal. I ordered the lobster bisque for and J got the $14 crab cakes as an appetizer. Neither was exceptional but both very good and well prepared (especially the presentation- wow! J asked why they bother assembling the fancy plate decorations if you can’t actually eat them. He’s so cute and logical). It dawned on me at that point in the meal that this is one of those rare times that we’re spending way more than I normally would on food and of all things this is when I’m okay not finishing what I order, even at the expense, because I have bigger and better things still coming. I normally feel bad leaving a 20 cent chicken nugget at Wendy’s but I let the waiter take away ¼ of my $9 soup!

Jag’s has some of the best house dressing I’ve ever had so our salads were exceptional. I wanted to just keep eating salad but I didn’t want to fill up and not eat my pending filet mignon, so I let them take that away half finished too. We both ordered the filet, Jim the 10oz and me the 7oz, and it came with garlic mashed potatoes (mmmm!) and strips of veggies. My filet was wonderful and I did eat every last bite of it! My only regret about the restaurant was that we didn’t dine in the garden since it was such a beautiful night.

Saturday we got picked up at 8:20am to head to Toledo. Dad had coupons for a bogo free breakfast at IHOP so we made a pit stop there for a bit to eat. Graduation was in the afternoon and took about 2 hours to get though. I was very critical of the kids who were wearing flip-flops and shorts under their gowns as they looked like idiots crossing the stage in my opinion. Mike looked really good in a shirt and tie and of course many rounds of pictures ensued. We drove home that night and stopped as a family at the Olive Garden in Lima to celebrate. I was so exhausted when I got home at 12:15am that I walked in the door, dropped all my clothes on the floor and went right to bed. J says “aren’t you going to brush your teeth??” Not when I’m that tired…

Yesterday we slept in late, did stuff around the house, had Greg over to go to the gym and mike over to do the P&G entrance test and watched Casanova (blah movie) after dinner. As always, I feel like we crammed in so much in that I’m not overly rested this morning at work. I did get the green light on a client I’ve been pursuing for a few weeks though around 8:45 this morning – hopefully that good karma will last through the day!

Catchin' up

What an insane busy week. I’m exhausted. I’ve been too busy to post, which I apologize about, and even now I’m rushing to get this one in so I can maintain rights to bitch at others who don’t write very often. ; )

Last night, my first night as a graduate, I treated myself to the salon. I got my hair trimmed, my toes pedicured, and my eyebrows waxed. Oh it’s good being a girl. When I got home Jim and I ate some ham and macaroni & cheese and then headed to *gasp* the gym. We hung out for a while (about 45 min) and did our thing, then went to check out Megan’s new digs. Very cute apartment. Fabulous TV which had Jim drooling (especially as ours is STILL not fixed).

Tonight Jim’s treating me to Jag’s (FANCY restaurant) where we’ll use my $100 gift certificate that a networking contact of mine gave me for Christmas. No jeering that we’re celebrating a special occasion with a free meal ticket. The place is so nice we’ll probably still drop about $30. So there.

We’re headed up to Toledo tomorrow for Mike’s graduation from Univ. of Toledo. Should be an all-day adventure! Lots of family bonding time. This will be probably the longest consecutive time I’ve spent in close company with his girlfriend, Lindsay. Terrible as they’ve been serious for over a year… that’s what being married and living out of the family house’ll do to you.

Jenny's Up and Rollin'!

Check out Jenny's new blog! Another victim who'll fall addicted to blogging:

www.Finlandsfinest.blogspot.com

MBA = Done!

It’s been an incredibly busy week for me professionally, scholastically and personally. Skipping to the good stuff, I had my final Sales class on Tuesday night. We had an incredibly dynamic speaker, Jack Carew, come and talk with us which was exhausting for us as an audience – the man is like 70 and has more energy than me!!! After class the whole group headed to the Pub in Rookwood for drinking and celebrating. It was SO much fun. We decided we’re going to have a Club 960 (our class was MKTG 960) and go play golf or meet for drinks periodically. One class member already sent out an invitation for the first event!! I didn’t get home until after midnight, Jim was long asleep, and was still full of energy when I tried to go to bed.

Last night was my final Capstone class. We had to take some national exam whose results aren’t related to our grade but merely to XU’s national ranking. Overall it was a good test, but telling us that it didn’t count didn’t have many people putting too much effort into it, myself included. This one test and the time it took to take was the last thing holding me back from beer and graduation – I was dying to speed through it! I met Mindy and Jeana out for drinks after we were thru and we hung out until about 10:30. Good times had by all! Jim had flowers for me when I got home - so sweet!

It’s strange to realize my MBA is over. Truly, as I have no intention of going back to any formal kind of schooling, it’s weird to think that I’ll never be a traditional student again. I have spent 20 of my 26 years alive in school! What am I going to do with my time? Talk my mom into giving me sewing lessons, watch Lost like the rest of the planet, con Jim into taking more ballroom dancing classes. Hopefully it’ll be a good life from here! Another chapter closed, a new one beginning…

Regressing?

When I was about 9 or so my brother Mike and I would play Monopoly using checks as well as the play money. If we’d land on someone’s property we’d take out our pre-cut pieces of paper, fill out the check just like my mom would, and submit payment to the landlord. We’d then hold on to that check and not cash it against the other player until a more strategic time in the game. Looking back at the higher thinking we displayed both in the game playing as well as the understanding of a traditional banking system, I’m pretty impressed with us.

So how is it that yesterday, on my way to my client's office, that I’ve been to before, I drove around in not 1 but 2 circles and called for directions not 1 but 2 times before finally getting there?

Dye Job

For all you haters out there – I tried to color my hair back on Sunday and no one noticed. Why? Because it’s still &%^$ red! I tried to be a towhead again- I picked a color that was called “medium golden blonde”; apparently I really was meant to be a red-head as my hair went from light brown to strawberry blonde in 25 minutes. It just looks like a “springier” version of my previous color. I'll try harder next time and go for a platinum blonde like I was in HS. ; )

Weekend of 4/28

My legs are a bit sore – worked out for the first time in my new gym yesterday afternoon. Did some treadmill walking for about 20 min, biking for 25 min, stretching and light weights. I think what did me in was the 20 minutes of racquetball I played with Jim and Greg afterwards… I did win the first game of cutthroat though.

The weekend overall was nice and felt pretty long. On Friday Jim and I went to Dave and Busters for Anne’s birthday party. Sean made Anne an hour late for her own party which cut drastically into the time we could spend celebrating - Jim and I had to leave by 11 because we were leaving early for Spencerville on Saturday morning for the Eutsler Easter.

Spencerville was nice though COLD, especially for April. There was an egg hunt for the kids and lots of food to keep us all stuffed. Jim’s cousin Rachel and I got to have some girl-time which is always fun. We visited quite a few of Jim’s friends while in town and got home to Cincinnati around 1am.

I planted almost all of our plants in the flowerbed and it looks pretty good. I still have quite a bit of weeding to do on the side-yard but that’ll get pushed to next weekend. We headed over to Mom and Dad’s after dinner to watch March of the Penguins and play Dominos with them and the grandparents – hooray for multi-generational bonding time. : )

I’ve been out of the office most of the day today and I’m feeling really worn out. *yawn* I have to do a take-home exam tonight and I wanted to visit Megan’s new apartment (right across the street!!) too. It’ll be a long busy night – no time for being tired so early!