September Post about random things

1. I feel disappointed that I was surprised when I un-lidded my soup and discovered it's homemade. Am I really that processed!?

2. My youngest brother is getting married Saturday. Doesn't feel real. I know he's an adult and he's been with Jenna for years, but it's still a little surreal. I think part of that weird feeling is that Greg's marriage is kind of the fin

al nail in the coffin that my siblings and i are all grown-ups.

3. I went to Jenna's bachelorette party two weekends ago. I

hadn't been clubbing in over half a decade so I had no idea what to wear. Went with the classic little black dress. Can't fail with a classic. For those of you who are also out of the clubbing scene, let me report this: 1) Cincinnati clubs aren't in Over the Rhine anymore. They're all downtown with lots of well-lit parking and cops. SO much safer than when we went out. 2) heels arent' required anymore. I looked H-O-T (i'm exaggerating) in my 4" black sandals but no one cared and my feet felt like hell the next morning. Girls today wear flats and dance all night. Not as cute as we were but that's a move in the right direction in my opinion.

4. Nicole's manners are frequently SO good she can be slightly annoying. Literally every sentence is "excuse me, mommy", "can i please", "thank you so much", or "i just shared my ___ with Chris". But she's so proud of being polite and it's a characteristic so sorely lacking in today's society how can i do anything but further encourage her?

5. Jim and I filled out these surveys for Redbook magazine. It was about how many "points" you should get or give for certain activities. For example, if he gives me a backrub with no intention of sex how many points does he deserve (6). If i cook him a full meal 50's style how many points do i get? (10) I haven't read all his answers yet but i'll say that what i've read so far was ENLIGHTENING (really).

6. The last two days were co-workers birthdays, both women i really like, and i brought in goodies. I'm thinking though that my birthday might be an overkill for people who return this favor... I'll be super grateful and touched, but i don't want to have a banquet in my honor or anything. I'd feel awkward since some folks get little/nothing on their day.

7. Miss my blogging?

Hello, world!

It's been months since i've posted. I never thought that would happen. The direct correlation - my new job. I'm busy at work all day - i'm not saying 'super-busy' because one of the great things about my new job is my ability to balance my workload and therefore stress-levels.

So, let me catch you/me up on a few things going on in life:

1) new job is great - love my boss, love the possibilities that I can directly affect that i think will lead to possibilities of great (as in positive) change for the culture and the future. I really feel like i'm a part of something bigger. Perhaps it's the respect i've already earned. perhaps it's the positive feedback from different people at different levels of the organization. maybe i just really found the right place at the right time of my life. Whatever it is, i love it.

2) one of my resolutions has been to enjoy the little things in life. More than ever that's difficult to do. my natural inclination is to plan, check things off the plan, and work to do this as efficiently and quickly as possible. Therefore, i have to make a concerted effort to stop and enjoy the moment when Jim comes behind me for a hug while i'm in the middle of cooking. Or to not tell Chris "go look at that, we haven't seen that yet" when he wanders back to the goats for a third time. I think taking these little moments will make life richer for me but so far i'm still in the phase where i'm consciously doing them. When it's totally natural i think it'll be worth it. Practice makes perfect no matter what the activity, right?

3) I cried when i left my old job and the old people. I knew it wouldn't be the same and it's not. relationships fade, especially when you used to see someone every day and now you don't. Fortunately some really solid ones haven't changed too badly (Tom P, Jason R) and have been replaced by a new friendship (Bryan T) with a co-worker that i really like/respect.

4) kids are growing so big. I'm at a point where i eagerly count the words in the sentences chris's saying (record = 7) because his language is developing so rapidly and he's finally able to express it all. Nicole's beginning to read some flashcards (homemade ones and store bought) but i know we need to do them more/more consistently. This knowledge directly contradicts item #2 above.

5) My little brother is getting married in just over a month. it's certain to be the wedding of the year. Jenna gave us Coach purses as our bridesmaids gifts! My first one ever!

6) We bought a rental house and have been busy fixing it, setting up the business, etc. I'm in charge of all administrative functions. I think we have one more weekend before the first two tenants move in - exciting stuff! We're already looking at the second property in Lima, OH - this one for one of our partners' sisters.

7) Looking forward to our staycation activities over the next month. On the agenda: Coney Island (none of us have ever been!), Indianapolis for the children's museum and indoor water park, Louisville for some horse activities. Perhaps the Erdahls would be interested in joining us?

Yeah, i'm alive

I never realized how much i blogged at work until i got a job that consistently keeps me busy and guilty about even reading blogs 8-5.

• In a three week period we got rid of Chris's crib (he prefers to sleep on the floor, not in the toddler bed though. Jim and I both say 'who cares, as long as he stays in his room all night'), the highchair and whole milk. i officially no longer have a baby.
• both kids are moving up in school to the 2 and 4 year old rooms.
• My book has been sent to ~20 agents and i've gotten 7 official dings. i'm relatively unphased though because i'm holding self-publishing in my back pocket
• the rain has been INSANE but of course as soon as i plant my veggie garden it frickin' stops.
• new job is great. boss is great. stress levels are great. working downtown is awesome. all-around good decision to move and i have no regrets.
• we are now in business with jim's cousins - bought a rental property in Lima, OH which we spent 2.5 full days rehabbing. made some good progress but still a long way to go. intention is to rent it to college guys. we have some interested parties already.
• i'm making 2 cakes a month for work and jim says it's getting out of control time and expense-wise. i agree but find it hard to say no. so far some new things i've tried are mostly flavors - mint icing cupcakes accessorized with andes mints (tasted like thin mint cookies), a peanut-butter icing'ed gecko that tasted JUST LIKE a cake version of a reece cup, sarah's melting icing technique, strawberry cake. So far all successes and i've built quite a reputation.... :)
• lots of parties and weddings in June. we're super-busy. can anyone babysit june 11th?

My Running Mother's Day list (for Jim & Kendall)

1. Chunky Bracelets
2. Black capri pants with pockets
3. Hot and cool glue guns
4. House slippers
5. Tulips
6. Rolling Pin
7. 8" and 6" baking pans (round)

Life Update

• Chris is saying 3-word sentences! Hooray! He knows more words than I can keep up with
• I'm paying for my first parenting magazine subscription. My grandmother had given me one for Christmas a few years ago and suddenly two others started showing up. One, Parents, is expiring and I think it's worth the $7.99 for a 2-year subscription. $7.99?!?! Really!?
• Thinking of the price of magazines - full color printing on every page periodicals where i get 200 pages X 12 issues X 2 years for $7.99- and wrapping paper where you can get 25 YARDS of four color printing for $.99 at the dollar store... Why the heck does Kinko's charge $.14/page for color copies?!
• Nicole is going to be a flower girl in Jenna and Greg's wedding. She's SUPER excited!
• We got 4th place in our bowling tournament
• I have come up with LOTS of ideas for mother's day this year. I mention them to jim all the time. I don't know if he's paying attention though or if I'll end up with some random gift. Perhaps I should post them here for his future reference? ; )

novel progress

So, today, while the kids are sleeping, i worked on my novel. I have 16/17 chapters edited (third round) and just that first, annoyingly bad chapter to deal with. UGH. Not sure where to go with it. I did ask four people to be the "fine tooth comb" on the book (2 new readers and two who helped with round 2 editing). I'm aiming to make April a dual-function month- finish round 4 edits and write the query letter.

For those of you not familiar with this, a query letter is what you send to literary agents. the goal is that they read your amazingly well-written letter, are smitten with your style and plot, and then they request to read your manuscript. ultimately it is this agent that will represent me to the big publishing companies - they'll get the book sold, negotiate the $, etc.

In order to prepare for writing the query letter, i had to research the official dictionary of genre types and have determined my book is not a romance or a chick lit (as i orginally thought) but would be considered "women's fiction". Fortunately i have a large audience of potential agents who represent this genre. *wiping brow - whew!*

in the real world, i've learned, authors send these letters out to 100-800 agents in an effort to hook one that wants to represent them. The agent blogs I've read describe their intake of unique query letters to be in the dozens per day- so glad that there's no competition for their attention. :P

All advice-giving articles say that a strong query letter is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing i'll write, in many cases more important than the book itself. If the query letter is terrible than no one will even get to the point of seeing my book.

At least I have a plan B - self publishing.

Feeling some pressure.....

Jamie made a comment to me at the end of one of her editing emails - something about a second book with Megan as the protagonist (she's a side character in this novel) being worth considering. DARN YOU, JAMIE. Now I've got that whole stinkin' plot rolling around in my head.....

Hello World

• I started to wonder if blogging was going out of style because some of my friends who've been on the blogroll for 4+ years are slowing down in their posting frequency. Then again, I am too. Perhaps it's just easier to read and not write? I'm assuming time is the real issue
• Chris is speaking in 2-word sentences now which is a wonderful break in his language development. I never thought he was behind but I did suspect that his limited vocabulary was part of his aggressiveness. I still see a mild correlation but not to the extent I wish it was (aka- he's speaking more but not hitting significantly less).
• I've tried several new recipes lately because I feel like our home menu is getting kind of stale. I need to find one this week. Any suggestions? KEY: NO WEIRD INGREDIENTS.
• My favorite teaching session is coming up on Thursday.
• I bought a new purse. It's twice the size of any purse I've ever owned but I concede that larger is the style. I literally have like 10 total things in it (2 lipsticks, 2 pens, keys, sunglasses, phone, money, credit cards)- none of which are big so the purse doesn't have that much form (as you can see in the corner) - there's not enough junk to hold it up! ha!

Dressing Up

No one in my office has probably noticed or cares, but I haven't repeated an outfit once in my 6 weeks of employment. I've worn the same dress slacks several times, but never the same top with it.

Especially with the change of seasons coming up I'm excited about seeing how long I can go....

I'm a dork.

Ignore my previous post - clearly I do need a life! ha!

Hobbies

Several years ago, before we had kids, Jim was involved in a lot of things - bowling, softball, martial arts, avidly reading, and getting his first certification. He was really busy but that was okay.

He was, however, critical of me for not having any hobbies.

My life felt pretty full at the time so while I listened I didn't take it as "oh, he thinks I have no interests and am boring". Anyway, I'm self-confident enough to not care even if he did. ;)

Honestly, then my hobbies included two core things: reading and socializing. It was pretty widely known that to get on our calendar was a weeks in advance request and I loved the variety of activities and friends we saw on a regular basis.

Post kids, this has changed pretty drastically. Somehow I'm busier than ever:

• Full time job
• Adjunct teaching gig
• Mom
• Writing a book
• Bowling league
• Avid reader
• Have DVR so I watch 5X (literally) more TV than I did four years ago)

Life still feels full but not uncomfortably so. What's changed is the socializing part. We still see friends but the kids take up time that we'd otherwise be spending eating out with another couple on a Friday night. Our afternoons are spent at the park or coloring instead of meeting a girl friend out at the outlet mall.

Jim and I still spend a considerable amount of time on our own activities (he's still in softball, we bowl together, and he's getting another certification) but we balance that with kid time.

I've been told that as the kids get older the parents of their friends will become some of our closest friends just because our "family time" easily overlaps with their family time (ie at soccer games, swim meets, etc.). I can see that. Adding more friends to our mix sounds daunting though - I don't see our current friends enough (as compared to several years ago!).

parenting ramblings

Sometimes I worry I'm a bad mother. The kids are in daycare and now with my new job they're there an extra 45 minutes beyond what they were before. Also, i can't come see them at lunch several days a week like i did before.

The lunch thing is probably not a big deal. Not one other parent in the entire school ever did this and Chris always took it terribly when i'd leave to go back from work. Nicole just resumed lunch, bossing her friends around, or playing like she was doing before i got there.

My boss said something to me the other day like "my kids always harass me 'oh we were always the last picked up from school, we're emotionally tormented' and I reply, 'yeah, that's why you're on honor roll and your brother got an amazing scholarship to college'." that makes me feel better.

My parenting magazine's answer to 'are daycare kids behind because they're missing 1-on-1 time with a full-time parent'? was a pretty definitive 'no'. they consoled the road warrior mother by saying that if she was happy, successful, and positive about her job the lesson she's teaching her kids is a valuable one not to be missed - hard work is rewarding and worth doing.

are they getting that lesson at 1 and 3?

don't get me wrong, i'm not quitting my job. I don't think i could handle full-time parenting. Nicole is happy, healthy, and very well-adjusted. If Chris were less moody, violent, and clingy i probably wouldn't have any hesitations in the world about my parenting skills. Honestly, i don't think Chris's issues have much to do with my working status. I think he's just in his terrible twos since age 15 months. hoping this is all it is....

News in my world

1. The new job is going great. Thanks to all of you who've asked or wondered. My boss is largely uninvolved in my day-to-day activities which I'm taking as a sign of trust that I'm competent to get it all figured out and done. I'm making friends, mostly with the legal assistants who are consistently here and at their desks when I pass by or take a lunch break. I'd like to see the attorneys more but their schedules are in flux and that's more challenging as they often don't eat in. I L-O-V-E the feel of being downtown. The buzz, the activity, the vibrancy of people and things happening all around me. Jim and I are also carpooling several times a week which is nice.
2. Chris is talking so much more lately. One thing I'd like to note that he does is say the sound of an item versus it's actual name. For example, he can say "truck". He says it when we read his picture books. But if we see one in real life he'll point and say "vrooommm!" instead. Maybe because that's what he hears when we're by it versus the quiet book? He's still rough as ever at school. Need to work on this but not sure how other than being consistent in our discipline and making him apologize for mean actions.
3. Nicole's big thing right now is coloring, which Jim and I think she does particularly well, and sounding out words. The multiple sounds of letters stumps her at times (why can't C just be soft ("ka") and not hard ("ss"?).
4. Jim has been reading a lot lately and has plowed through several books. He's on one now that has historical events noted via newspaper headlines. It looks interesting but not something I care to read.
5. Looking forward to SPRING!

One Moment In Time

If you said a person's name my mind will instantly go somewhere. Most of the time it's an image of their face that's a still shot that I've just made up (versus a photo I've seen before).

If someone said "tell me about Lisa" my mind will always jump to a story versus a description. And it's always the same story. I have a "defining moment" with about everyone I know. Some are monumental, some are not. All are meaningful to me in some way or another because it was a time I felt that i was seeing the "real" person and in one way or another I really connected to them at that moment.

Just a few that readily come to mind....

Lisa: Her running past my college door in various states of undress

Grandpa W: His getting weepy over a non-fiction story I wrote of him for my Creative Writing class at UD

Sarah F: Sitting on the bridge at lighthouse retreat in one of those deeply honest conversations

Viki: Eating hummus with her and Laura at her bachelorette party

Jim: The exact moment I fell in love with him- watching a movie with his buddy on the couch and he and I cuddling on the love seat.

Sarah W: in Friendly's cleaning up for the night and gushing over $5 tips

Jenny J: catching up at a bar over one of our breaks in college- just her and I living it up and getting tipsy sentimental

Chuck: watching him watch Kristi walk down the aisle

Tom P: dinner at The Back Porch

Mike: eating chinese and learning Lindsay was pregnant

Greg: laying in bed when we were kids singing the "Oh They Built the Ship Titanic" song - we were rehearsing for a recital we put on for my parents later that month

My last day at work

So, today is my last day of work. My officemate was playing a soundtrack of goodbye songs and one of them was "It's the end of the world as we know it" and to that I reply "and I feel fine".

I do not feel any remorse in my decision to leave at all and I realize what a blessing that is. I'm confident that I'm making the right choice and I'm excited about what lies ahead.

That being said, saying good-bye to people already has been strange. I spent two hours hand-writing individual good-bye notes to every co-worker (including my replacement that I've only met twice!). I hope I don't cry. I hope nobody else does or that goal might be toast.

I've been here for 9.5 years so there are some people I'll miss like crazy. Not miss working with, miss seeing and laughing with. I'm expecting that some relationships stay strong even with the distance- fewer most likely than those who'll fade off and never hear from again. Though Facebook might make "never" more like "seldom".

So, here's to fresh starts, new faces, and the beginning of another adventure.

New Job!

Yesterday I put in my two week notice at work. I've been at the same company for nine and a half years so my leaving at all is a pretty big deal. The time is right though and I'm excited, not sad, about leaving.

The new role will be a marketing focused one at a law firm downtown. I really liked all of the partners I met and am especially fond of the woman who will be my new manager.

Jim's been super-supportive through the process, which is especially wonderful because he's not happy where he's working so seeing me have an opportunity to move on is probably not very comforting for him right now.

I start on Valentine's Day. Wish me luck!

Book Editing in Progress

Well, the book went online for editing this weekend. I have a crew of a dozen friends who volunteered which is probably 2X more than what I need. Ah well.

So far the first chapter has been universally panned. My gut reaction was to be let down, as I think most people's would, but I remembered that when I was doing the editing on the first draft even I hated the first chapter. So much so that I brought five romances to bed one night and just read their first chapters to compare quality to mine.

Problem is, while I agree it's not very strong, I'm not sure how to fix it.... UGH.

The other thing that's getting to me is that not everyone who offered to read has. I know i just mentioned that i probably have too many editors and don't need this much feedback but since they volunteered i'm waiting anxiously for their missing reviews.

I know, I know, it's day 3, people do have real jobs, etc....

:)

I have high hopes about the day.

Sunday Repunzel!

Had to do this the long way.... geesh!

Pictures

Some pics from the end of December.

Christmas party treat for Chris's class.

Christmas Eve. One of the three dresses in the princess box has been on practically daily since my aunt and uncle gave it to her.

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Christmas Night. yes, she's wearing her new ballet clothes.

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My budding artist.

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The artist's little brother who insisted on wearing a paint shirt too but doesn't quite understand the best use of crayons....

That &^%! video still won't post.

Here we are- 2011!

I tried for *&%^ hours to get this adorable movie to post. Our new camera takes them in some non-blogger friendly format though. Any suggestions? LAURA (who always gets them up!?)??

Christmas was a lot of fun like they all are. Presents and presents abounded. It was probably too much but the kids' excitement never makes it feel that way at the time. I don't have any pics with me now to post but i will shortly!

GOOD NEWS: Last night i finished the book. Tonight I'm going to put it all together into one long document so i can evaluate length and then I'm going to start doing the first draft editing. When that's done I'll send the second draft out to my dear friends and family who are willing to edit.

SPECIAL THANKS: To Sarah who's been reading the novel all along and has given me a lot of encouragement to keep up with it. I was always going to finish it but she has been so supportive of the effort that she pushes me to be consistent and creative. THANKS SARAH.

THINGS I"M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

1. My girls coming for the weekend in 11 days
2. My little brother's baby shower - I'm making the cake!
3. The nervous feeling of having my manuscript sent out for critique
4. Plotting out how I'm going to paint/decorate my master bathroom- the last room in the house to be done (other than the living room that has no furniture but does have a play kitchen and tent). I still need to post before and after pictures of powder room pictures. It's pretty drastic....

Some quick updates on the fam because it's been like three weeks:

Jim: New job is coming along and he's getting into the flow of things. He's still battling the window people (we had to tap into our warranty and they can't seem to send us the right size window to replace the one we have. We now have two half circle windows in the office)

Chris: Says more words than ever and always seems to stress the last letter. I heard "doggggg" for the first time at Lisa's on Saturday (and then heard it over and over and over). Now he's very into "bookkkkk"s. Most helpful: "all done" and "one more". He had chocolate milk for the first time over break. It went up the straw and into his mouth. He promptly spit it out.

Nicole: Got dress-up clothes for Christmas and feels the need to become a princess daily. Is too cute when painting on her new easel. Is driving me nuts by not wanting to go to bed/sleeping in our room.