Book Report, Chapter 9

Remember a few reports ago when I quoted Emerson about the idea that everyone is superior to you in some way and that you must remember that when dealing with people and respect them for it? This chapter reminds you that not only should you remember that fact but keep in mind that the other person knows it too. Think honestly to yourself, is there not a trait about you (maybe more than 1 if you’re lucky) that you know is better than someone else’s grasp of that same quality? Be honest. What are you good at?

Of the people I know…
Tom’s skill that’s better than anyone’s is his sincere desire to help other people in any way he can.
Jen’s is to see the bright side of situations and help you see them too.
Sarah’s is the warm feeling that she has with guests and friends that make them feel like the most important person in the world.
Jim’s is that he knows a little bit about a lot of things and can easily adapt to new groups and situations.
Dale’s is that he is constantly thinking and sees opportunities from multiple angles.
Andrew’s is his creative nature and exquisite presentation of his ideas.

I could go on and on. Chances are the qualities that I see my friends being superior at are not necessarily the ones that they think of first when self-reflecting.

When dealing with people, Carnegie advises that to make friends fast “talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours” (p. 111). Or more clearly – "make the other person feel important- and do it sincerely" (p. 111). Find out what it is that the other person is “superior” at and praise them for that quality. Listen sincerely, as previously advised, and try to learn from that person so that you can better yourself in the process.

Last night at my parents' Fourth of July party Chuck and Kristi sat with my 80 year old grandfather and let him go on about fishing, traveling, who knows what. When I stopped by to sit with them Chuck enthusiastically stated: “Karen, we want to take your grandfather home with us. He could teach us a lot of things about a lot of things.” My grandfather beamed. I was touched at the sentiment and the public recognition for a life well-lead. (I was also tickled that Chuck and Kristi would sit and listen to an elderly man as attentively as they did for as long as they did.) I thought more of my friends and of my grandfather at the end of my stay in their presence. I have no doubt that the conversation my grandfather had with them was the highlight of his night.

Learn from Chuck and Kristi – sincerely listen to others and appreciate the things they do well.