I come from a lifetime of planners. When I was little my parents let us try out any activity we wanted which meant that the entire week was jam-packed with soccer games, baseball practice, swim meets, and girl scouts. Even when I got older and could drive myself I scheduled in activities like baby-sitting, refereeing and HS clubs that required me to be places at set times. When I arrived at UD I became friends with a lot of folks in the marching band who had their time plotted around practices and football games and then SAI- activities that I, and consequently my free time, got swallowed up in too. Upon graduation I went into sales- a career centered around appointments and multi-tasking that requires high-levels of organization to make the best use of my 40 hours a week. Today my friends recognize that to spend time with me we need to schedule it, sometimes weeks in advance, because my married life is as full as my single life and I’m just not available for impromptu events.
I’m a planning freak.
I had dinner with Tom and Brian last night and we discussed this “illness” (ok, maybe that’s an over-exaggeration of their feelings) that I have with scheduling my time. I thought about it then and since and see that I’m not the only one- my friends are planning freaks for the most part too. Viki, even back in college, lives by her pocket calendar (palm pilot now?). Karen keeps her daily planner with her at all times in her purse. My parents still have a calendar up that they keep track of their bridge nights and family get-togethers. My clients, and now husband, are reliant on the fact that I send them email notifications of our meetings and conference calls.
I will admit though that I’m to the point in my planning obsession that if we do have a free night I feel like I’m wasting time – if I don’t have an event scheduled I wish I did so I could be out with friends. I’m very grateful for those who live spontaneous lifestyles that are often available last minute in these situations, ala Dale, because it means we can see them more often than we would otherwise when these free nights come up.
Tom challenged me to live 1 week spontaneously. I honestly don’t think I can do it. To begin with, I’d have to SCHEDULE a week to do it and then PLAN to not do things that week by turning things and people down when they ask in advance. Further, I fear that I’d be rude declining invitations – wouldn’t that sound like I was waiting for a better offer if I was non-committal? That’s how I’d take it I think… Maybe I’m being rude right now because people feel like they have to reserve my time and I’m not always assessable like Tom seems to be.
Overall though, I can’t imagine a complete lifestyle change… even for 1 week…
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8 comments:
Karen, you can do it, live spontaneously!!! Actually, I've noticed that if I don't tell you I'm coming into town far in advance, you cannot always juggle your schedule to fit me in. Maybe instead of a week, give yourself one day a week to spontaneously spend time with someone. I have Wednesday nights that I never have anything to do, so I can do whatever that night, errands, a special meeting...
Interesting thought, about being a planner, especially since I am in the club and never thought about it (although I would say I am less dedicated to mine than you are to yours...)
HA! I hope Trey reads this - I'm sure he'd be very happy to tell you all about how I have to plan everything. We did a Myers-Briggs test together and compared, and it ended up that he's the type of person who can go on a road trip and not plan anything (like hotel accomodations) and be fine with it, while that kind of thing would give me a heart attack.
In any case, I'm trying to be more flexible these days, and I think I'm getting better at it, but when time is as much in demand as it is for you, and when there are so many other things you want to be doing, you have to schedule things - if you didn't you'd never get anything done, nor would you ever be able to make time for what you really wanted to do.
I've seen (and been there) for some of those last minute spontaneous get togethers. It's fun to do that and not plan every waking moment. You are a super planner, but when you have free time and "do nothing" you have time to sit back and reflect on matter such as this.
Anymore, we can't get away from planning. Yes, it gets stressful when we look at our calendars which are jam packed every weekend until late fall (and sometimes until 2007) and we forget those pockets of an hour of NOTHING! We can't forget to "stop and smell the roses".
I let my life be "planned" from 7-3 PM every day from September 1st to June 1st. Anything after hours is fair game. And the summer...It's all about what's on WE, Lifetime, and the Hallmark Channel. It's like in college, when we determined whether we went to Shakespeare by the quality of the episode of Alvin and the Chipmunks. I can say that flying by the seat of my pants AND planning is quite enjoyable.
Good comments from everyone.
One day a week is a great start as Jen pointed out.
For me, I have to have evenings and weekends unplanned. My time is so regimented and compressed during the work day that I would go nuts otherwise.
Living by a calendar is contrary to human nature in my opinion. The universe is chaotic, and we like to impose our own order on it. This invariably leads to breakdowns, unhappiness, and death. The chaotic wins, always. It's called entropy and it's a natural law........
You can choose to try to plan and plan and plan, or you can choose to go with the flow.
Those that ride the river and go where it takes them live much longer than those that swim against it to get to where they feel like they need to go..........
Just for the record, I'm always available at the last minute becaues of my spontanous lifestyle, not because I have nothing else to do.
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