I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?”
This passage was taken from opening of Chapter 3 in How To Win Friends and Influence People and I think it is not only a good introduction but a good summary of the message the chapter tells: If you want someone to do something, entice them with what they want, not what you want. Even when you’re “unselfish” and donate money to causes you’re still acting in your own best interest – you’d rather have the feeling of doing good than the money.
Another story from page 35: A child is throwing a tantrum refusing to start kindergarten the following morning. The mother is frustrated with reassuring the child that he’ll have fun and eventually puts her foot down and insists that he go. The child continues to scream that he won’t. The father, having just taken Carnegie’s seminar, comes up with an idea. Both parents and the older brother make a list of all the wonderful things the child will experience at school and begin to finger-paint pictures in the kitchen. Sheepishly the child peeks around the corner to see what they’re doing and asks if he can paint too. “No, you can’t yet,” the father tells him, “you must first go to kindergarten and learn how like the rest of us did.” The next morning the father comes down the stairs to see the child dressed with his backpack on waiting at the door. “Why are you up so early?” The father asks. “I don’t want to be late for kindergarten,” the boy responds.
Align your goals to those of your peer and you will accomplish everything you both want.
Final Piece of Good Advice:
"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own” – Henry Ford
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3 comments:
That is such a cute story about the boy!!
Yes, you do have to give people what they want, but I don't think the kid story is the best example of that...yes, it was a very creative solution, but parents don't always have the time to go to such great lengths. I think kids have to learn that they can't always have what they want in a more realistic way - don't preschool teachers suggest that parents just leave the kids to cry for a little while, and eventually they'll join in and play with the others? Sure, there might be a few hours of trauma, but unless the parent doesn't come back, the kid will be just fine.
So, that was a little off-topic, but I guess that's Ok...
Super color scheme, I like it! Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing this wonderful site with us.
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