Friday, June 30, 2006

So Close!!!

I’m freaking out. I’m in the lead for a sales contest at work that will win me a 42” plasma TV that I really really need since our old TV is still dead. I am relying on this one client to sign their paperwork and get it to me TODAY in order for me to secure my winning status. The guy who’s to sign isn’t in the office until MONDAY! AUGH!!!!! I need to work some miracles with my primary contact!! AUGH!!!!

Book Report, Chapter 8

William Lyon Phelps, essayist and professor of literature at Yale tells the following story:

“When I was eight years old and was spending a weekend visiting my Aunt Libby Linsley at her home in Stratford on the Housatonic,” he wrote in his essay on Human Nature, “a middle-aged man called one evening, and after a polite skirmish with my aunt, he devoted his attention to me. At that time, I happened to be excited about boats, and the visitor discussed the subject in a way that seemed to me particularly interesting. After he left, I spoke of him with enthusiasm. What a man! My aunt informed me he was a New York lawyer, and that he cared nothing whatever about boats- that he took not the slightest interest in the subject. ‘but why then did he talk all the time about boats?’ ‘Because he is a gentleman. He saw you were interested in boats, and he talked about the things he knew would interest and please you…” (p. 94-95).

And a business example:

Edward E. Harriman of Hagerstown, MD chose to live in the beautiful Cumberland Valley of Maryland after he completed his military service. Unfortunately, at that time there were few jobs available in the area. A little research uncovered the fact that a number of companies in the area were either owned or controlled by an unusual business maverick, R.J. Funkhouser, whose rise from poverty to riches intrigued Mr. Harriman. However, he was known for being inaccessible to job seekers. Mr. Harriman wrote:

“I interviewed with a number of people and found that his major interest was anchored in his drive for power and money. … When I told her [(his secretary)] I had a proposition for him which might translate itself into financial and political success for him, she became enthused. … After this conversation she arranged for me to meet Mr. Funkhouser.

I entered his huge and impressive office determined not to ask directly for a job. He was seated behind a large carved desk and thundered at me, ‘How about it, young man?’ I said, ‘Mr. Funkhouser, I believe I can make money for you.’ He immediately rose and invited me to sit in one of the large upholstered chairs. I eneumerated my ideas and the qualifications I had to realize these ideas, as well as how they would contribute to his personal success and that of his businesses.

R.J., as he became known to me, hired me at once and for over twenty years I have grown in his enterprises and we both have prospered.”
(p. 98).

The point is – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Book Report, Chapter 7

Chapter 7 is titled “An Easy Way to Be a Good Conversationalist” and I’ve found this chapter to be remarkably true in my own life. The basic idea is to be a good listener. Remembering from my past report, people are principally interested in themselves. “…the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interest on more than forty earthquakes in Africa” (p. 93).

As always, a story to illustrate the point:

…I met a distinguished botanist at a dinner party given by a New York publisher. I had never talked with a botanist before and I found him fascinating. I literally sat on the edge of my chair and listened while he spoke of the exotic plants and experiments in developing new forms of plant life and indoor gardens (and even told me astonishing facts abou the humble potato). I had a small indoor garden of my own-and he was good enough to tell me how to solve some of my problems.

… Midnight came. I said good night to everyone and departed. The botanist then turned to our host and paid me several flattering compliments. I was “most stimulating.” I was this and I was that, and he ended by saying I was a “most interesting conversationalist.”

An interesting conversationalist? Why, I had said hardly anything at all. I couldn’t have injected anything if I had wanted to without changing the subject, for I didn’t’ know any more about botany thank I knew about the anatomy of a penguin. But I had done this: I had listened intently.
(p. 85)

When I first started sales I had to take a training class where the instructor reiterated throughout that I was to be doing 20% of the talking and the prospect was to do 80% on an appointment. I follow this rule closely not because I was told to but because it works. Most of my clients adore me and I them. While this sounds cocky, I’m proud to be able to accurately state it. I know their weekend activities, their kid’s due date and get invited to their weddings because I am sincerely interested in them on both professional and a personal level.

Former Harvard President Charles W. Eliot was quoted in saying “There is no mystery about successful business intercourse…. Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that.” I could not agree more. This statement is fact in both the business world and the social world and living by this creed does wonders in both.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Video of Jim doing Kwan Dao Kata

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Double Click On the Image Above to Watch!

Successful Best Testing!!!

Jim and his Kwan Dao
Jim doing Yen He kata
Tom P- Yellow to Blue

And a special fan! Sarah!

Book Report, Chapter 6

Though I did not mention it before, the book is divided into 3 main sections: The Six Ways to Make People Like You; The Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking; and The Nine Ways to Change People Without Arousing Resentment. For your own reference, this summary is the third chapter in section 2. Yes, that means we have a long way to go yet… (would be faster if I wasn’t reading Wicked and People at the same time!).

Let me start with a story taken from page 77:

What was the reason for Andrew Carnegie’s success? He was called the Steel King; yet he himself knew little about the manufacture of steel. He had hundreds of people working for him who knew far more about steel than he did.

But he knew how to handle people and that is what made him rich. Early in life, he showed a flair for organization, a genius for leadership. By the time he was 10, he too discovered the astounding importance people place on their own name. And he used that discovery to win cooperation. To illustrate: When he was a boy back in Scotland, he got a hold of a rabbit, a mother rabbit. Presto! He soon had a whole nest of little rabbits- and nothing to feed them. But he had a brilliant idea. He told the boys and girls in the neighborhood that if they would go out and pull enough clover and dandelions to feed the rabbits he would name the bunnies in their honor.

The pan worked like magic, and Carnegie never forgot it.

It is important and a sign of respect to remember the name of the people you meet. Especially because so many people forget the name of the acquaintance they just met by the time the leave the introduction. Therefore, take the time to remember the names of the people you meet. If you are bad with names, go so far as to keep a journal of those you’ve met so that if you find yourself invited to a place they may be again you can prepare before you go. Remembering names will always help you and will never hurt you in any and every situation.

A final example, Jim and his manager Aaron went to lunch in the cafeteria each afternoon after working out. Being men of routine (Jim? Noooo!), they frequently went to the same counter to get their food. Jim would ask for his item and the worker would give him the appropriate amount and hand it to him with a quick “thank you”. Aaron, on the other hand, made a point to remember the woman’s name and greeted her with a smile (see previous chapter) and a “What’s going on, Beatrice?” It was no mistake that Aaron’s sandwich had quite a bit more meat than my husband’s.

A person's name is the most beautiful word in the world to them.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Homearama 2006 Highlights

One of the prettier ponds in a backyard


The prettiest nursery I saw! Mom claims the dust that the draperies would collect would drive me nuts but I think it looks nice.


Holy Shower, Batman!


This playroom was awesome! It had a chalkboard (left), tent, picnic table (right) and many other play set things that are further left than this picture caught.


The neatest feature in 2 houses this year - a back wall that was really sliding glass doors. These doors opened up to the patio (where my mom and grandmother are standing) that had screends to enclose it need be. This feature essentially added another 1/3 to the size of the new larger room and brought a really great indoor/outdoor blend to the area.


One of many basements that was 2X larger than my current house!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Busy Bee

Well, I’m back to my busy ways…. Last night J and I had dinner, watched the Sopranos (on DVD) and headed off to his softball game. The boys are not having such a stellar season (as Dale has been reporting) but it’s nice to be outside and cheering. I used to keep score for the boys but I admittedly get too caught up in visiting the other fans to keep fully accurate books so my duties have been turned over to Jim/Carole. J I’m not offended, I’d rather chat anyway.

Last night my grandparents, mom, and [soon-to-be????] sister-in-law Lindsey came to watch. We were the only people there to cheer the guys on other than Carole, but had a good time none-the-less. (geez I’m using lots of –‘s in this blog)

Bryan scored us some Homearama tickets so the same group is headed out to Mason tonight to drool over $1MM+ houses. Jim, who has no desire to do that, will be staying at home. Ah well… we’ll see each other some time this month.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Two Cool Invites in 1 Day!

Yesterday was a pretty awesome day of opportunity. The work-day went well professionally – I was pretty productive and was happy with what I accomplished by 5:00. A client of mine offered to take me on a hot air balloon ride sometime. His wife is a bit afraid of the heights and he’d like someone to go along. I was really excited though Jim’s sentiments echoed the wife’s so he’s sitting this adventure out. Exciting!

I got to leave a little early at the end of the day because my friend Lori invited me to go to the zoo for a reception. She snagged free tickets from her mother who’s company donated bunches of money and were being thanked. We milled around and checked out the koalas, baby cheetahs, flamingos, snakes, etc. and snacked on crab cakes and spring rolls. Both in our 20’s, we probably lowered the average attendee age to 60 or so which made finding an exciting dinner table pretty impossible. After our dinner, however, they did a tribute to Cathryn Hilker who turned 75 and has put the Cincinnati Zoo on the map with her work with cheetahs. This woman is a stud when it comes to cheetahs and Lori was all a flurry with excitement to meet her.

So meet her we did and not only did she get a picture with the renowned Cathryn, but she hooked us up with a personal invite from her to PET A CHEETAH. Holy crap. Now the key is nagging Lori and remind her that Cathryn said “and bring your friend” when the invite was extended!

Book Report, Chapter 5

I think that this little ditty on pages 73-74 at the end of the chapter (one you might have seen in email forwards through the years) sums up the entire chapter eloquently. It was first published by a NYC department store in their Christmas advertising.

It costs nothing, but creates much.
It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.
It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.
It is the rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad and Nature’s best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthy good to anybody till it is given away.
And if in the last-minute rush of Christmas buying some of our salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you leave one of yours?
For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have non left to give!


The point is: SMILE.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Weekend of 6/16/06

It’s going to take me a few days to recover from this weekend. After one of the busiest work days that I’ve had in months on Friday I got home late and made Jim dinner. We headed to Geoff’s for croquet and cards that evening and I got a little reminiscent – J and I met at Geoff’s playing croquet and cards just over 4 years ago. I discovered that being Jewish is a whole way of life that I have no idea about. Jim and I were 2 of maybe 4 Gentiles there and I felt like we really stuck out. Not that I was uncomfortable, but I wish I knew a little bit more about the religion so I could understand all that was happening around me. All of Geoff’s Jewish friends relate being Jewish to almost every aspect of life from what I could tell- social activities, work, etc. There’s apparently an online dating service, JDate, that is specifically aimed at matching single Jewish people. Why this was surprising to me at the time I’m not sure; I know there are Christian dating services and several of them at that, but the fact that ones for the Jewish population was unexpected. I live in a hole. I don’t know. Anyway, it was the first time in my life I felt the need to convert to a new religion to fit in (I say this tongue in cheek as you can imagine).

Saturday we set out for the 4 hour drive north to the Land of Cleve for Sarah and Danny’s baby shower. It was hosted at her brother Ben’s place and was attended by about 25 family members from various parts of Ohio. I was in charge of games and people seemed to really enjoy the memory game I made which I was really pleased about. Sarah also has a very funny gay cousin that has a dry sense of humor that kept me chuckling throughout the day. Disappointing that he was pretty cute and the female population won’t get a shot, but I guess the gay community needs some hot men in it too. ; ) Sarah and Danny made out like bandits with a crazy amount of Pooh-themed gifts. Jim was a bit confused as to the function of several items (as was Danny at times too which I thought was funny and cute) such as receiving blankets (“why do you need more than 1?”). It was a L-O-N-G drive home from the shower and I was nodding off periodically but of course as soon as we walked in the house around 12:30 I was wide awake.

Sunday was just as busy. We got up around 9, ate breakfast and went to church. When we got home I had to pick up the last part of our Father’s Day gift (a bocce set) for dad and grab some groceries. Jen called me around 2 to gush about her wonderful weekend and her hot new boyfriend so I got to giggle for about 45 minutes with her. Father’s Day party was fun but low-key for the most part. Played the new bocce game (and won!), ate dinner, watched the US Open. When Mike came to pick me up around 8:15 is when things got rowdy. Mike is hysterical, plain and simple. I had so much fun with him out at MLK- we laughed, we gossiped, we bitched, we reminisced. We discussed how even though our lives are very different we’re still very much the same. It was great. He was great. He is great. Now I miss him and want him back again. : ( He sent me the sweetest text message when he got home that made my eyes crinkle when I read it. WHY DO SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE LIVE OUTSIDE OF MY CITY!? You kill me people, you really do!

So now I’m at work plugging away at the mounds of junk on my desk. I want to crawl back into bed and take a nap so badly but I’m encouraging myself to be productive!!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Exciting News Report!

I got a call last night around 10:30 that had me smiling ear to ear:

Anne Marquette and Sean Murphy are Engaged!

Happened on Sunday at King’s Island (first date location) on top of the Eiffel Tower.

More details to come when I see her/them on Monday!

Congratulations!!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Medusa's Son


This is my dear brother, Greg, after we pulled the highlighting cap off his head around 11:30 tonight. I joked that he looked like he was going to a Bob Marley concert. : )

Monday, June 12, 2006

Kick Ass Weekend

Updated With Pictures (see end)

I found when I went back and reread this it was super-choppy. I thought about going back and editing it to sound all fluid and great like Viki's recap but realized that this was how the weekend went for me- packed with lots of activities non-stop. There was no time during the weekend to be calm- there was too much to do with my friends!!- so I left the post just as I wrote it... Rambling and fun.

This weekend was W-I-L-D. Friday night I had dinner with Sarah W and Jim and then Viki and Sarah F came within 15 minutes of each other (both drove over 7.5 hours to come visit! How fabulous are they?!). We went to a hilarious party at Megan's with just the girls where treacherous things happened that I won't speak of in public but will forever keep in my memory and smile about for years (Sarah F's "tea" incident and Viki's flip are now burned in my mind for all time!) He hhehe.

We stayed up late and I cooked the Sarahs grilled cheese. We finally hit the sack around 2. I didn't sleep particularly well because I was worried I'd forget to set up Viki's tae bo in the morning and I didn't want to be a bad hostess. I'm such a dork. Anyway, we ate strawberry pancakes and gossiped and giggled. I was reminded again how much I really love these women and how lucky I am to have friends like them.

Saturday night I went to Jonathon's party for an hour then headed to Dayton for the official reunion. 5 years... where did the time go?! We had an awesome dinner at Lisa's and then went to the Porch Party on campus. Holy crap was that fun. There were these huge tents and about 500 people in attendance. The band was awesome. I taught some older alums how to play flip cup and at one point we had 16 people per side competing. Lisa dubbed me the "cup whisperer" for teaching them the tricks of the trade. Then I went to the bathroom in the mens room because the women's line was too long. Most everyone was having a great time and acting like idiots. I felt like I was back at college!! It was amazing.

I was thrilled Lisa came out again to the Fieldhouse for late night drinks and I finagled Sarah a free birthday beer from the 'tender. I proceeded to profusely tell my friends how great they were and they made fun of me for being so over-the-top. We called Trey and laughed until my sides hurt. I remembered this chick Amanda that I forgot existed and all I could remember about her was how she got me in trouble in Daytona. OK, encouraged me to get myself in trouble in Daytona... The memories! it was great to just remember!!

In totality, the weekend was great but so exhausting. How did I do that every weekend for 4 years?! Thank God I get a 5 year hiatus from a repeat though it'll take me that long to recover! It was wonderful to see everyone again and to spend time with them in general. I think it was more special because we aren't together anymore and this really was a treat.

Andy's Pictures (you'll have to cut & paste into your browser): http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/andyud01/

album?.dir=bbfdscd&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/andyud01/my_photos

Sarah's Pictures: www.clarinetsw.blogspot.com

Friday, June 09, 2006

Awesome Day starting at 7:30

HOORAY!!! Today is going to be a great day! I woke up feeling very rested and did go through the traditional routine described below. On the way to work I heard a good song (Leanne Rimes (sp?) “Someone’s Gotta Give”) but begrudgingly chose to turn it off to hear the “Hollywood Trash” report instead. Then, as soon as that was done I switched to another station’s “Battle of the Sexes” game that I like to listen to (yes, I’m competitive even in the morning) and it was on!! Normally the two segments overlap one another and I have to choose which one to miss part of. Right after that game was done what came on??? "Someone’s Gotta Give"!!! Kick Ass.

Other wonderful news- some of my most favorite people in the world are coming to Cincinnati this evening! I’m skipping home over my lunch break to start a pot roast for dinner and I get to dine with Sarah W, Viki and Jim. Around 7:30 Sarah F will be in town and we’re all going to a Pure Romance party to be girly. Jim joked that tonight should be every man’s dream – his wife and three of her friends out for a night of drinking and girl parties coming home wound up to spend the night. Ha ha ha.

Viki will be funny and do her Tae Bo in the morning, Sarah will make us strawberry pancakes, and I better feel my Godchild move!

: ) This is great!!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Morning Routine

Routines are an interesting thing. I suspect that everyone has one for weekday mornings that they follow and very likely on weekends too. My morning routine M-F is always the same (what a shock, I know):

1. Jim pseudo wakes me up by cuddling in bed for 3 minutes before he eats breakfast
2. I get out of bed at exactly 7:30
3. I go to the bathroom and take my thyroid pill
4. Turn the radio on to my morning show
5. Shower- wash hair, rinse hair, condition hair, wash body, rinse conditioner out, wash face, dry off. In that order.
6. Turn on curling iron and dry hair
7. Straighten/curl hair as determined in shower
8. Tone Face
9. Put on Deodorant
10. Moisturize face
11. Put make-up on
12. Pick out the day’s outfit
13. Turn on iron
14. Make the bed
15. Iron clothes
16. Get dressed
17. Turn off radio
18. Leave at 8:11
19. Get to work at 8:29
20. Get coffee (with 1/2 packet of Sweet N' Low and a dollop of vanilla creamer) and granola bar
21. Read CNN.com top news stories so I’m “in-tune” with the world
22. Read blogs
23. Plow into email

Every day. Same thing. Same order. The only variance is when I kiss Jim good-bye because he leaves at various times. Maybe I am OCD... Perhaps this is an area that I could start my spontaneous activities? Or is that too much to tackle in the first hour of being awake?

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Book Report, Chapter 4

Chapter 4 is entitled “Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere”. The message is: You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Carnegie suggests this based on the theory again that people are first and foremost interested in themselves. For example, when you look at a photograph that you are in, whose picture do you search for first?

People are most comfortable talking about themselves than any other subject for the simple reason that they know themselves better than any subject and can look important (see chapter 2). Listening to others will bring them joy and you respect and admiration for being interested in them. Think about who your closest friends are – are they the ones with the most interesting life? Who’ve traveled far and wide? Who’ve accomplished great things? Or are your great friends the ones you know you can call if you feel lost/frightened/sad/overjoyed? The ones who you know you can count on to be there when you need them; essentially the people who will let you talk about your concerns and experiences and are interested in you (this principle in reverse).

The key here to living this principle is to become GENUINELY interested in people and not just put on psychiatrist sessions to let people ramble on. Some people are so desperate for attention that they will talk to anyone who will listen. While these people will love you too for being their outlet for information, it is the quality people who will appreciate your gesture for what it is and to whom this advice is most beneficial.

Ruth in my office best exemplifies this. Literally as I type she’s practicing this method. A fellow co-worker picked up a second job in the evenings to make some extra money and occupy her time. This, of course, has nothing to do with Ruth in the primary context that the two know one another. Ruth could potentially benefit from this co-worker extending her new employee discount, but that’s not what she asked – she said “Did you get that other job? Good for you! How do you like it?” and sincerely listened for the answer. At the end of the short conversation she wrapped it up with “we don’t get to talk often enough”.

All day, every day, Ruth takes this interest in our clients too and they love her for it. She recognized a gentleman’s voice on the phone yesterday. As I walked by I overheard her ask if the man was the same she had talked to months ago that was going to serve in Iraq. She then asked several follow-up questions about his tour and if he was glad to be home. She thanked him for serving in the military and asked if there was anything else she could do for him. Do you think this person smiled during this conversation? Absolutely. Do you think he’ll stay a client with us for a long time? Absolutely.

Genuine interest is the golden ticket to relationships.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Accomplished Nothing

I don’t understand running. The concept of it in general I guess is good from a health standpoint, but the thought of moving that quickly when there’s no real need, ie nothing life-threatening is chasing you, doesn’t really make sense to me.

I’ve been feeling kind of down about my dad. We had a scuffle on Saturday night that hasn’t had me back to “normal” since. I sent him an email today that I meant, as in I meant what I said and believe it to be true, but now I feel guilty that I sent it because I think it might upset him. I thought writing it would make me feel better and really I don’t at all. This has me more upset because I think I might have made negative progress with the whole thing.

Which brings me to running. “People” seem to “always” say that they were frustrated with something and they "ran it out". I thought they meant that they started running and worked all the frustration out with the sweat, rhythm, and adrenaline of the activity.

So, looking for that type of relief, I set out of my driveway around 9:00pm. I walked about 300 yards to warm up and then I started jogging. Granted it was a slight incline but I felt like death by the time I reached my driveway again. My heart was pounding, my mouth was dry and I think my tongue was perspiring. I turned back the direction I came from and briskly walked around the block again just to justify my getting work-out clothes on in the first place.

I don’t feel any better mentally and I’m not really sure I feel better physically either. Downing a full bowl of the Cyclone ice cream Jim brought home doesn’t even sound good. Part of me says that I need to call him and talk this out but I can’t seem to work up the nerve. Besides, maybe he didn’t react like what I thought he would and all this angst on my part is for naught. I don't feel like myself at all as a result of this. I feel : P .

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Saturday Fishing

Yesterday Jim, Greg, Grandpa and I went fishing up at Red’s Lake. I’ll admit I was a bit rusty on casting but learned pretty quickly and ended up catching more fish (sunfish, croppies, bass) than the boys. Grandpa kept teasing them that I was going to be offering casting lessons for $15/hour as they could only get the line out 2/3 as far as I did.

For the record:
YES, I bait my own hook (with minnows).
YES, I will unhook my own catch.
YES, I did eat my doughnut after fishing for 2 hours and did not wash my hands first.
YES, I waited until I got home so I didn’t have to pee in the woods.

Greg is exceptionally funny. He had us laughing all morning with the naming of his bait, justifications for he and grandpa not having butts, the necessity for him to get a “sugar momma in the near future”.

Grandpa didn’t fish with us but served as maintenance man the whole morning: I got a bad tangle, Jim broke his rod on his first cast, and many a fish swallowed the hook and required pliers to remove it. Still, a good time had by all.

Here’s some pics so you too can “relive” the morning:

Grandpa: Teacher, Maintenance Man, Contest Referee

He got one!

A pretty bass!
(and quite a handsome husband!)

He caught it too well! It turned into a 2-man job to unhook it!
One of Many!

Fishin' Men

Thursday, June 01, 2006

In the News

Some odd things I’ve come across in the last 40 minutes:

1) The rope-less jump rope (first heard about on my morning show on the drive in to work
2) The 3-armed baby (CNN.com)
3) A quote in an article about the new Batwoman’s being gay (people think it would be more ground-breaking if the superhero was ugly)