There are many theories about how individual’s personalities are partially shaped by their birth order. There are stereotypes about oldest children being Type A and protective, middle children constantly fighting for attention their whole lives, and youngest children being wild and free-spirited. Thinking about this, I (the oldest of 3) fall into nearly all of the stereotypes of my birth-order position.
Other, unrelated studies show that people are drawn to others like them. This manifests itself in the ratio of friends we have of the same race/ethnicity, extroverts/introverts, driven/relaxed, etc. Thinking about this a few weeks ago, I see this coming to life in my friendships as well. The people I am closest with have personalities very much like mine. I assume this is because we understand each other’s thinking. Obviously this doesn’t help when you need an unbiased opinion – many times, if your situation is like mine, those like-minded friends of yours will just reaffirm that you’re right when asked for advice!
Putting these theories together...
Looking at my friends, I have come to the following tallies:
Oldest Friends: 14
Middle Friends: 4
Youngest Friends: ~3
Only Child Friends: 2
Friends with large number of years between them and their next closest sibling: 2
Granted this doesn’t encompass everyone I know, but it’s a group I pulled in about 90 seconds of the people I see most frequently/am closest to. What screws up my “Youngest” catagory is 2 sets of twins- Sturgises and Auchters- who of course technically only have 1 person as the youngest and the other gets to be a “middle” but that’s complicated so I did what no friend should do and counted them together.
Interesting note – the two Only children I'm friends with, Mike C and Jim E, are people I dated for over 3 years each! and obviously married one!
Interesting note 2- both children with large gaps between them and their next sibling, Kristi S and Mark J, in my opinion have more oldest children tendencies than youngest children tendencies even though they technically are the youngest child. Perhaps when you’re brought up mostly as an “only” you “start over” on the personality traits of an oldest?
Interesting note 3- My brother Mike is a Middle and he’s marrying another Middle, Lindsay. This pattern repeated itself through many of the couples I know too!
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8 comments:
Maybe it’s just me but I feel as though I fit the “oldest” category even though I’m definitely a middle having 3 older siblings and 2 younger. I think that may be because my older siblings and I weren’t as close and my younger sister’s as me. Could be why I am so overprotected and motherly of them?? Could just simply be because I’m older now and don’t think of myself as fighting for attention anymore. I don’t know but it was definitely interesting to read!
I've been thinking about this a lot lately - Trey and I are both the oldest. Kristin and Mark each married/are marrying and oldest, though, and Tony's new girl is the oldest I think...
I've read where twins have a different method of ranking than just order (it follows the same theories, but considers the "within twin order")...its not just youngest and middle (in my case)...I don't remember for sure, but i want to think one of them acts like an oldest child and then the other like a youngest...and at some point in their younger lives, they SWITCH personalities and that sets it from there...it's interesting. ok, it is if you're a twin! :) either way, for what it counts, I vote for twins being counted as 2 people!
Youngest children rule, everyone else drools! I def don't have the personality of of the oldest or middle child. But then again, how can I be overprotective of anything when everyone is older and of course I'm not starving for attention. I mean seriously, this is ME that we are talking about... I guess now we know why I'm soo much cooler than you and Mike- well even Mike doesn't count cause he was adopted. haha j/k
ooh, I read a fascinating book on Birth Order. Being a twin, I'm both middle AND youngest, plus certain traits for being the Older of the twins (which I never really got why it mattered which twin popped out first....?) They said that twins will switch while growing up, but usually end up in their "correct" birth order. They covered every scenerio possible, and it's interesting b/c it was more accurate than not, and took into account so many variables (the book I read, don't recall the title, also included the affect of gender with birth order).
Hmmm, I wonder how step-children mess things up:
I'm oldest of the 3 for my mom, but my dad has 2 much older kids (I'm 30, youngest of his other set is 50 this year.....)
And I definitely screw this theory up. I think most of my other friends are actually younger siblings, not oldest......
I'm the oldest and married the youngest (not to mention with huge gaps in his siblings). He's just like my dad in every respect (baby of family, only male in family, 10 years between oldest and baby). Guess that means you'll have to revise your list... :-)
I'm a middle child with most middle child tendencies. I am marrying an oldest child...does this mean we are destined never to understand each other?!?! :)
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