People have wondered for ages what the meaning of life is. Many think it’s a trial period and that real “life” begins after death. Others believe that the goal is to do whatever makes them happy now as this is our only shot and there’s nothing after we die. As I don’t know either way, I feel like it’s my responsibility to try to live as REAL as possible now. This doesn’t always mean be happy, dealing with the crap parts of life is still living it to the fullest, but it does mean being true the whole time.
I really struggle with this. It’s very obvious to me what I “should” do and since I have a strong streak of pleaser in me, there a lot of times I do what I “should” do rather than what I necessarily want to do. Other times I do what I “should” do because I don’t have a strong opinion for any other alternative. Doing what I “should” sometimes allows me to be real but many times it makes me feel like I'm just going through the emotions.
Maybe I'm a bad mom, but I had a rose-tinted view of parenting that having a daughter would make me see the “real” side of life more; and by “more” I mean all the time. What actually happens is that I appreciate the little things more for sure (like this morning when she was sleeping on her tummy with her knees tucked up under her and her butt in the air – so cute!) but often times life is still whirling around me and Nic and I are just along for the ride- running errands because we have to, celebrating holidays because that’s just what you do, maintaining morning routines because we all have to be some place at a certain time.
I think I feel “real” most when it’s 10:30 and Jim and I are in bed talking about our day. I feel real when I get in conversation with Tom and we can be totally honest with each other even if it means we look stupid or what we have to say is unflattering to the other person. I feel real when I'm tickling Nicole and she’s giggling like crazy. I felt real the first time I was told that the person I Loved was In Love with me too. I felt real when it was announced I had the only 100% on my Marketing MBA paper in the class. I felt real when I walked down the aisle at my wedding.
The key here is making time and effort to be real. That sounds like an oxymoron, I realize, but, as I mentioned before, generic life keeps me too busy to dive deeper most of the time.
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3 comments:
I guess I feel most real when I am in dance class turning the wrong way or using the wrong foot--I REALly don't know my right from my left. :)
Seriously though, living real is rare, enjoy your moments.
Jen is right, living real is rare. Precious moment just happen. They aren't planned nor can they be planned. Just like the picture I captured of you and Alex having a moment at the aquarium. :-)
If you are trying to live real there are great rewards in the end, or is it beginning?
I agree that living real is rare, and hard for me admittedly...it's finding the balance between being real and just living life as you 'should' that's the tricky part. I tend to be one to be almost too reflective and introspective all the time and try to not be that way, but that's a big part of who I am, so it can't be all bad.
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