Everyone has an opinion. Everyone’s personal way of thinking about a subject is “right” according to them which means a lot of other people are therefore “wrong” about said issue.
I just got back from my uncle’s office who said “so today’s the big day, huh? You’re still going to find out what it is, right?” in reference to this afternoon’s ultrasound where we’ll hopefully find out the gender of the baby.
Why he, and others, feel the need to blatantly state their opinion of “that’s a mistake” as a follow-up to my “yes we are” answer is beyond me.
Did I ask his/their thoughts on whether or not I should find out my baby’s gender? No, I did not.
Did I ask his/their take on whether or not I was “ruining the surprise?” No, I did not.
So why do people feel they have the right to call out the “mistake” I'm making when their opinion was not requested? I don’t come up to people and say “oh, so you got dressed this morning, huh? Well, what you picked is a total disaster.” Somehow though, this facet of my pregnancy seems to be fair game for unsolicited opinions, often very rudely stated.
Carol’s approach to the matter was right on. When she confirmed that I was going to find out the gender today she said “I wouldn’t want to know if it was my kid”. Great, no problem, I respect that. She also respected the fact that I DO want to know. She was polite and supportive of my decision even though it was different from her own.
I guess the bottom line to this rant is that I’ve been surprised by how many people are really outspoken about this subject when it’s an item I would consider "not your concern". I'm further taken aback by the outright rudeness of the condescending tone that the opinions are given in. It’s definitely made me more aware of keeping my descending opinions to myself, on this and nearly every other subject, until I'm asked.
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8 comments:
Sorry, I guess I would fall into this category, even if I'm in your favor of finding out. When I asked you if you were finding out the sex of your baby, I was VERY happy to hear that. And I think I did state that I hate it when people don't find out....so if that was an unsolicited opinion, I apologize.
Sorry to tell you it gets worse :) Wait until you get nearer the end. Depending on how you are carrying, complete strangers will touch you (ew - if I do not know you, keep your hands off please!) and tell you that you MUST be having twins or triplets!
Coming from someone who has done both ways, I will say that I truly enjoyed the surprise of my little girl AND the knowledge of having a boy. I find advantages and happiness in both ways; There is no wrong, just a personal choice.
oh no! agreeing with me is ALWAYS okay! :)
I've heard of random people touching pregnant ladies, which really weirds me out...
I agree that unsolicited opinions are not warranted on these matters - Carol's take is good though, and sometimes I'll do that. But if I don't want your advice, don't give it to me.
I get that a lot when I tell people I don't want to have kids...there's inevitably the, "Oh, you'll change your mind." Um, Ok. I guess we'll see in another 10 years, but things aren't looking that way...
I think its your child so your choice.
I agree strangers touching your pooch would be odd, now friends are an entirely diffferent matter....
I think that would annoy me too... but my opinion... I'm SUPER excited about you finding out the gender! I hate calling it "it".
That really is quite obnoxious, but I liked your idea of responding to someone's clothing choice! That was great!
Strangers touching the belly is kinda weird......but I will DEFINATELY be touching it whenever possible, so get ready!
There is way too much stuff to get ready for and prepare for. I think with all the different clothing and baby supplies there are now that it makes life MUCH easier knowing.
For some reason when reading this, I think that most of these people who say it's a "mistake" are older (a generation ahead of us). Times change.. I'm very glad that you found out cause the suspense of Mike and Linds is making me very anxious and aggravated at the same time! I would def do the same and find out the sex of it..
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