I was recently told that I must be the most un-problematic person that my friend knows because I seldom post anything negative on my blog. I determined that while I do consider myself optimistic for the most part, really I just don’t care. If something goes wrong I try to work it out and fix it. I’m not a brooder and I try not to be a worrier. On both accounts I figure that this is what’s being dealt, if I could do something to prevent it I would have (or if I didn’t I can’t blame anyone but me), and the only way to make it better is to fix it as best I can. I find that in many cases if something is mildly bad I don’t see it as worth the effort to fix it if it’s not a big deal. And if it's not a big deal I get over it and move forward.
That being said, after a traumatic hour on Monday night with a problem that has since been corrected, Jim commented that I “always” initially overreact and get emotional about things that go wrong. While this is the case for many items (my father acts the same way and I think I’ve grown up into him), I like to think I also behave like my father and get irritated then calm down quickly in order to efficiently handle the problem. I pointed out that while I’m very irritated about our STILL broken TV I’ve let go of it and decided not to waste my energy even caring any more and letting Jim run the project (and I haven’t even nagged him about it!). When Home Depot pissed me off by giving us a countertop that wasn’t cut correctly I fueled my frustration into getting us the piece for free. When a client chooses a competitor over me, yes, it pisses me off, but I let it go so I don’t hurt other pending opportunities with a bad attitude.
Maybe I just think I do this and reality is different. Perhaps Jim didn’t argue with my logic because he too realizes it’s not worth the bother of getting into it rather than because he necessarily agrees that my points are valid (like I assumed he did). Eh well...
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5 comments:
I would have to agree with your friend that you seldom have problems (it seems) but when they do come up you are able to be pretty level headed. I think that I have only seen you cry over a problem maybe once or twice... now me... well that's a different story. :-)
Your TV is STILL not fixed???? jeeze!!
This is a difficult topic, and can be a slippery slope as well.
I think you are much like me in many ways. Your last paragraph is important here. I went way too long thinking people, especially my ex-wife, agreed with me because they never said otherwise.
I learned much too late that this was not the case. Far from it. People just refused to argue with me because they felt it was pointless. I either argued until they gave up, or I belittled them into admitting I was right.
You are one of the few people that will argue with me, mostly because we have a way of getting heated with another but not pissing one another off. I'm grateful for that :).
Well now! Let's see, I would have to agree in part to both of you. Jim is correct in stating that you can over-react and get emotional (what woman doesn't). However, you are also one of the most lvel headed people I know and get over that very quickly to get the issues resolved. I think that the 1st reaction is because you are such a compasionate person, and then reason takes over and you do your thing to make things better or just let them go. You are not one to hold on to a problem and let it build.
As far as not arguing a point, from experience there are some things just not worth arguing about. But you would have to ask the person in question how they truelly feel about it, maybe they do agree, maybe not. If they feel it is not worth arguing about though, it may be a good thing to agree to disagree and move on.
I'm going to echo what Jessica said...it's perfectly natural to fly off the handle at first (I do this, and it gets exponentially worse the more stressed-out I am) but usually quickly regain my head and start putting my arguments together. If it's worth arguing as in the case of the countertop, then you should as others should be obligated to fix their mistakes. In cases like the TV, I'd get annoyed, too, but that's a case of choosing your battles. Let the hubby fix it. :-)
In general, I try not to complain much either - we all have problems, but fixing them quickly is the way to go. I think I've been worse about writing negative things because the recent past has been so nuts/stressful/emotional but normally I don't think I'd get too crazy...
I would just like to note that there is a distinct difference between the things that people get upset about. Yes, I get irritated and can fly off the handle about stupid shit, like being overcharged $150 on my cell phone bill (which really happened). But I've got to say there are times that just call for extreme emotion and it's totally appropriate. I think we all know what I'm referencing here. I totally need that day of tears and frustration so that I can make it through the other 29 before it happens again. So I don't see anything wrong with getting upset about the big stuff.
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