The lunch thing is probably not a big deal. Not one other parent in the entire school ever did this and Chris always took it terribly when i'd leave to go back from work. Nicole just resumed lunch, bossing her friends around, or playing like she was doing before i got there.
My boss said something to me the other day like "my kids always harass me 'oh we were always the last picked up from school, we're emotionally tormented' and I reply, 'yeah, that's why you're on honor roll and your brother got an amazing scholarship to college'." that makes me feel better.
My parenting magazine's answer to 'are daycare kids behind because they're missing 1-on-1 time with a full-time parent'? was a pretty definitive 'no'. they consoled the road warrior mother by saying that if she was happy, successful, and positive about her job the lesson she's teaching her kids is a valuable one not to be missed - hard work is rewarding and worth doing.
are they getting that lesson at 1 and 3?
don't get me wrong, i'm not quitting my job. I don't think i could handle full-time parenting. Nicole is happy, healthy, and very well-adjusted. If Chris were less moody, violent, and clingy i probably wouldn't have any hesitations in the world about my parenting skills. Honestly, i don't think Chris's issues have much to do with my working status. I think he's just in his terrible twos since age 15 months. hoping this is all it is....
3 comments:
Full time parenting is hard and sometimes I wish I had a job outside the home to go to! That being said I also am grateful I can be home with the kids. Either way it's a DIFFICULT choice. Don't worry about Chris. Evey child has their unique wiring. We have the same issues here with child #2, but they are getting better. It takes a lot of "time outs", patience and love.
I struggle with this same issue. I was actually really jealous that you were able to go and visit the kids on your lunch. There's no way my schedule would ever allow for that.
Since getting pregnant again, I've been really tired after school. There have been days where I've headed home to sit and rest for a short time or get dinner started before going to get Max. I feel horrible guilt every time I do this. I think when your children are born, so is your sense of true guilt. Even on Max's first day of life I had feelings of guilt. On maternity leave, when I would let him cry for a few minutes I would feel guilty. We will probably still feel guilty when they are in their 30s like we are. Something we do or don't do will make us feel guilty then too!
I read an article that says that children in daycare are typically smarter and more socially adept. Now I'm NOT knocking on SAHMs because I do it for almost 4 months of the year and it's freaking HARD! But if I was staying home year round I think I would feel pressured to socialize my children more after reading that article. I would worry that I wasn't pushing my children academically. Just remember that Nicole is learnign things at school that you probably wouldn't even THINK to teach her!
Karen,
You are a wonderful Mother and Teacher to both of your children.
Don't ever doubt who and what you are to those kids. They are going to be just fine. Just remember...
Always stay their parent and be consistant. As they get older, be leary of trying to much to be their friend.
They need, and will always remember, the parent in you as this is what they will truely fall back on when they have their own children some day...
God bless
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