Life’s been coming at me pretty fast lately. While there’s a lot of stuff going on in other people’s life I feel like a bad friend to people as I’ve put my life and my stuff first. I haven’t talked to Lisa or Sarah in weeks and I’ve missed all of the previously scheduled monthly dinners with Tom. The holidays approaching so quickly are not helping matters either as I have no shopping done or even ideas of what to get, even for my own kid!
What’s occupying my thoughts:
1. have three sets of items to grade for school and I'm done with 1¾ of it. Class is in less than 24 hours.
2. I haven’t even posted the slides for tomorrow’s class yet
3. The parents in law have helped out a bunch around the house but there’s so much they can’t physically do that Jim and I don’t have time to do either so it all remains with no Open House in sight
4. We haven’t taken the time to church-visit for Nicole. We need to pick a new church so this kid can get baptized.
5. Last night Jim and I used our whirlpool tub for the first time. No so happy about my figure with no bubbles to hide it. While I'm now under my pre-baby weight, I am certainly not flat-stomached in the slightest. Not that I’ve made time to sit-ups or anything to fix it… While Jim looks good all of the time (see below for evidence), he HAS the time to maintain what he’s already got and I need to start from scratch. But still, it’s probably not fair that what he has to look at in a wife isn’t somewhat comparable to what he’s offering physically as a husband.
6. We have several rooms with white walls. Hopefully I can be a painting fiend next Tuesday on my off day.
7. Our 30-day walk-through on the house was this morning at 7:30. There were about 32 items on the list, most small, nearly all cosmetic.
8. Our babysitter had a small stroke 2 weeks ago and is having outpatient surgery to remove some cancer from her rectum. While we love the job that she does with Nicole, we have had the necessary conversations of “what if we have to move Nicole some place else”- not fun to have to consider but fortunately hasn’t been a problem
9. We’re working on a new nighttime routine with Nicole to get her to sleep through the night. So far we’ve got down the 7:45 bath, sometimes a book, and a 8:00 feeding. Last two nights we’ve tried formula at this last feeding to see if it’ll “stick” with her longer. This also lets me have the opportunity to collect for her at the end of the day and hopefully build up a supply. So far she’s still getting up somewhere between 12:30 and 1:15am and then again at 3:30. Last night at 1:14am we let her cry it out for an hour; she fell asleep for 10 min and woke up again. By then I felt bad as I knew she was probably hungry so I gave in and fed her. Not sure if that negated any progress with the crying it out stuff or not…?? She did wake up again at 4 anyway wanting to sleep with us.
10. We’ve offered to let Doug and Vickie stay with us through December. They haven’t made a decision yet and are worried about imposing. None of the four of us particularly like their back-up plan though.
11. Nicole’s curtains will be done TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12. The old house is still not sold, but does have a prospect!
12. I'm also worried about some of my friends and the personal struggles they’re going through. Problem is that they’re lives are upset at the same time I'm worried about 1-12 in my own life. As a result I feel like I'm not giving any of the above enough attention which makes me feel guilty.
I did get a nice message from Anjali the other day (another person I’ve been neglecting! Grrrr!)- she lives in NC and a radio station has gone to playing Christmas music 24X7 already. What glory!! I was just excited that Wal-Mart has already gone Christmas, but an entire radio station!? Fabulous! Still not switching over my work playlist though…
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8 comments:
Karen, I have no doubt Jim thinks you are gorgeous no matter what, because you are! He is lucky enough to make the time to do all of his physical activity, not all of us have that luxury!
I am sure your friends understand that you cannot always be available whenever they want. Everyone has their own life to keep up as well.
try putting a tbsp of cereal in nicoles last bottle. that should help fill her little tummy up and sleep longer!
Now don't even begin to go there about reciprocal appearances. Dont't even think for one minute that Jim doesn't love everything about you just as you are. You will have to give it time. For the better part of almost a year your body has gone through so many changes. These are normal. You will be back to what you want it to be in time. In the mean time, just imagine how it might have been if Jim had the baby and not you. I know you would not look at him any differently. I am sure that his "5 1/2 Pack" stomach would look the very same way had he had the baby and the roles had been reversed. Do not despair. Love is way beyond skin deep. Look at me. I might have a
"1 pack" if that, but my wife loves me so much more for all of the "little things". How lucky I am. You my dear, are just as lucky. You will get there soon enough. Time heals everything.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Hang in there hon! You're doing great at everything and the only thing that should matter is you, Jim and Niki.
good luck. and you can be selfish if you want and get to everyone else in time. I do that, too. I'm sure most people do!
Ok, so I need to learn how to read. First, I thought you said you got a nice "massage" from your friend Anjali, and then you mentioned she lives in NC. I was scratching my head for a while. Then I realized it said "message," and it made a lot more sense. WLIT has already started their Christmas music here, a week earlier than they were planning because a different station in Chicago did a ninja move and snuck in their Christmas programming without announcing it. I always wait until Thanksgiving to do anything Christmas-themed, including my playlist, but I'm always really excited about it by then.
Oh, you're tagged... see my blog for details. Hooray for Christmas Music!
I tell this to my friends all the time... sometimes you just need to put yourself first and worry about others later. If you don't get your own shit organized and under control so you are sane... then how are you supposed to be a good, quality friend, mother, wife, sister, etc. You first, others later. Don't feel guilty. Everyone has their moments and others just need to understand. And I think that most of us do.
I had to give up lunch with you a couple times a week because Nicole gets those days now... wasn't too happy with it but I understand :)
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