Several of my friends had kids before we did. As such I was around them and their children subconsciously taking in parenting tips that now I find myself pulling out with Nicole. Some of my favorites:
"Use your words"- Anjali to Alex when he'd get so upset he resorted to whining and crying. This one is my absolute favorite and most commonly used. I use it so much that Nicole says it to other children in her class that get upset and aren't coherent and now the teachers say it.
"Good choices good results, bad choices bad results"- I don't remember where this one came from but the concept is too early for Nicole. I said it a lot at her other daycare to kids who were bad or to remind the sitter to hold firm on her punishment decisions for naughty children.
"I'm going to count to three and then...."- this one got used on me as a child but the ... was always to get spanked. Normally for Nicole it's a time-out. The Cetti's really reinforced this upon me when we were talking about parenting one time so I started using it more since. I work very hard to count one, pause, count two, remind her of the consequence and then say three. I ALWAYS follow through at "3" with what I threatened to do. She sort of recognizes this and frequently stops at 1 or 2 but sometimes she likes to push the limits a bit and finds herself on the step or getting her bottom spanked.
Lindsay works with Ryann to try to find something positive about everyone, even if it's small things - "doesn't that lady have nice hair", "look at her pretty polished fingernails" or whatever. I don't remember the context of why she does that but I like that she does.
Another mom I had dinner with at a party always used the word "naughty" instead of bad when referring to her kids actions. Her logic was that her kids aren't bad (as in bad people) and she doesn't want them to think that they are. They might be, however, naughty at times but that's distinctly different in her mind. While I can buy into the concept I haven't gotten into the habit yet....
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6 comments:
I like the use your words one. :)
I would love for Lindsay to share why they always find something positive to say. I like that concept, a LOT! Karen, I feel like you are naturally like this so you maybe teaching this to Nicole subconsciously...
I like to find something nice to say about people so that Ryann will grow up doing the same. I would much rather her say "look at her pretty fingernails" than "why does she look like that" or something along those lines. Ryann has seen people in wheelchairs before and has not once asked about the chair but instead has complimented their shoes or hair or something else.
I have had little kids "compliment" me before and it has made my day so if Ryann can do that for someone else I have done my job. :-)
I think it's cute that Nicole tells other kids to use their words when they get upset.
I think the trick to getting the "I'm going to count to three" thing to work is following through every time. The main issue of most of those Super Nanny families is that they don't...
Wow, I haven't heard the use your words one before... I really like it... most parents just say "stop crying" but this is better because it encourages them to communicate and tells them you're listening. I'm only slightly kidding when I say we should use this with adults...
What was funny to me as I read this is that the techniques you use with your 2 year old are among my time tested favorites for my unruly teenagers. You never outgrow the good stuff!
I REALLY like the idea of using the word "naughty" instead of "bad". Something a lot of people struggle with is distinguishing between having bad behavior and being a bad person.
Ah... use your words. That one never gets old!
The big one in our house is reminding Alex how old he is then asking him how old Kenzie is. He's grasping that he's bigger than she is and knows more than she does. This has helped the whole not copying what Kenzie is doing (ie. screaming) because she doesn't know how to verbalize just yet.
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