Reflections on my other half

I have had several conversations with people regarding soul mates over the years. Tom P. introduced me to a theory that has stuck with me since he explained it. I did some research this morning and can’t find the origin (though many sites/people reference the concept no one seems to want to cite it) but I’ll explain it in general here.

The idea is that there is really just one soul that encompasses male and female (yin and yang, etc.). This soul is split into two halves and each part spends eternity trying to find its other half and make a perfect union. Literally a soul mate. Some things I read online refer to this as “twin flames”.

As you can tell, this theory is somewhat predicated on the concept of reincarnation which is a whole other blog post. Several things I read commented that your soul mate may not be a romantic relationship but could manifest itself in a mother-son, best friend, etc. type of arrangement. Some theorists even think that a person might not be able to handle their twin flame- that the connection might be too overwhelming to deal with given the current state of your existence (again, remember that this is connected with reincarnation and the current state of your karma) and it might be best to avoid your soul mate, at least for a time, and work with them later in your existence.

In the book I'm reading, Obsidian Butterfly, one character told the other that he felt she was his soul mate in that they have kindred spirits and a like-mindedness so strong that it’s both comfortable and competitive. There is no romantic feeling in the relationship at all. “Knowing” these characters I tend to agree with the assessment.

In general I tend to shy away from the idea that I have a true soul mate. Perhaps this is because I’ve not met the person and therefore haven’t found a “cosmic”–level connectedness with anyone. There are a lot of people that I obviously feel/have felt very strongly about but no one that I could genuinely say that I couldn't live without.

Some readers might frown that I say this (that there isn’t anyone I couldn’t live without) when my husband reads my blog. He and I have discussed before and he feels the same way I do so I'm pretty sure I'm not insulting him when I state I could live without him (in fact, we agree that since we could live without one another makes us respect our relationship more – we don’t want to live without the other if possible).

Some people might be critical of “settling” for “less” than your soul mate as a marriage partner. Even though I don’t view Jim as my soul mate, I certainly don’t regret marrying him (one of the best decisions of my whole life) or think I settled. My soul mate might be across the globe in Indonesia this life – if I spent my life looking for them I might miss out on living. I’d certainly miss out on the specific children I do have (and I do think they’re my children for a reason).

Though I don’t think that I have found a true soul mate, there are some people who I suspect might have. Dave and Carole Polley might just prove this 1 split soul theory true. Seeing them together is to see one spirit (by “spirit” I mean energy). Could you call that spirit a soul? I could buy that.

More than anything there’s often a person I feel is perhaps a soul mate of sort for a particular period in my life. Someone who impacted me or supported me emotionally/spiritually/intellectually and helped me grow as a person. To sit and try to list these people could be done almost with a year category assigned. For example, Mike C. would be that person for 1997. Lisa E. would be that person for 1998, etc. Fortunately for me most of these people/souls are still in my life and positively touching it, stronger at times and more passive in others.

This is a long post and I think I was definitive enough in my assessment of the subject given my current knowledge. If/when something changes I’ll let you know.