I have a hard time believing in the concept of fate. It's my controlling nature to rebel against the thought that someone, anyone, is directing me or taking choices out of my hands. I'm a big Free Will enthusiast.
There are times, however, that I physically feel "just right". When I was about 8 I distinctly remember playing with Barbies near my closet and having this feeling. It was so overwhelming I stopped and just paid attention to it.
When I was a freshman in college Lisa and I got lunch at Rally's and sat on Marycrest Hill soaking up the autumn sunshine. I don't remember if I said anything to her at the time but I knew I was exactly in the right place at the right time. Like I was supposed to be there.
Years later I felt it again with a boyfriend as we laid in bed and listened to the nighttime through an open window in his house.
It happened yesterday with Nicole. We were cuddling on her bed and I had this great feeling of being settled.
(Starting this paragraph for the fourth time...)
If I was forced to put into words the conclusion that stands out most to me I'd say that whatever path I'm on has some places that I need to be at in order to stay on [the right?] path. The four I mentioned above were [apparently?] on that list. Kind of like stops on a subway line- I need to be here at X time in order to keep going.
The level of utter peace I felt at those moments tells me these are positive things- indicators that I've been where I should have been and am headed where I need to head.
The control-freak in me doesn't like that I have a pre-destined path. [I'm picturing my religious readers groaning at me and shaking their heads about now.] The personality traint that's always looking for confirmation rejoices in finding some.
Regardless, I'm always totally happy in that moment so whatever it means I'm glad I'm experiencing them.
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5 comments:
Great to hear Karen... I guess I'm still searching for my moment of utter right-ness
Wow! You have such a good memory! :) I'm flattered that I made the list of "just right" moments. :) My name DOES mean Blessed by God....I'm just sayin'....
While i couldn't say I got a "feeling" as you describe it, I will say that one of my favorite moments of our college years together was the day you helped me put the carpet in my dorm room in Marycrest. We were sweaty and gross but that's the moment I knew you were really my best friend. Who else would help with that kind of thing?
I'm glad you find moments of peace and know you are exactly where you should be. That is fantastic!
I understand exactly what you mean, I have a lot of those moments. On the flip side, I also have many moments where I distinctly feel things are NOT right and need to change.
I miss Sarah Ford too.
I need to live more in the moment - I have made it a point to enjoy more of those 'smell the roses' moments in recent years, though.
I, too, miss Sarah Ford.
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